Thursday, May 26, 2005

Reading this may save you and others.

Today, I want to talk about a serious dilemma that men and possibly women face day to day. This problem is called in the medical field B.E.U. Yes, Broken Elastic Underwear. This is a common condition that normally occurs right before you have to do your laundry. And so you wear your underwear at half mast. Exposing your gluteus maximus (thank you spell check).

I had this problem today. Most of the day I worked and ran errands with the elastic barely covering my crack(I'm sorry) and this was uncomfortable. All day I had the face of bewilderment and discomfort.

But, then I found a solution. Tracing back to my childhood, I recalled a treatment for this ailment: The WEDGIE. Yes, I would self inflict a wedgie! This way my underwear would at least stay up. And so It did. If you do it right, the wedgie may last you between 4-6 Hours.

So try the next generation of treatment against B.E.U. ....The Wedgie

Side effects include: Chafing, Elastic showing outside pants, and childhood traumatic flashbacks and dirty underwear(ewwwww!).



P.S. Is it me or does Lindsay Lohan have that "Gandhi Hunger Strike" look? via


At 10:35 PM, May 26, 2005, Blogger Carissa said...

When experiencing BEU, it is best to contact your local apparel-selling store to buy yourself a pack of new underwear.

*Also effective when experiencing N.C.U., a common afliction in the area of my house, No Clean Underwear.

Oh, and I think Lindsey is one purge away from death.


At 11:44 PM, May 26, 2005, Anonymous Julie said...

Dear God! You are not the only one thinking Lindsay is going the way of the drain pipe. I am tempted to find her, hold her down (she-yah, like she could put up a fight!) and start force-feeding her lard. She used to be so cute! Now she's all Flynn Boyle scary. Ugh.

At 8:00 AM, May 27, 2005, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

To solve the B.E.U. problem till you can purchase new ones is: Take a pair of scissors cut up the sides and tie in a knot like a pair of bikni bottoms. Works very effectivly till you get the new ones. Have a great weekend UNDr I am off to Daytona Beach for the weekend. If you get a chance drop on over to my blog and leave a witty comment. Love, Linda
p.s. Lindsay needs a few double cheese burgers with the works!!


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