Wednesday, June 15, 2005

My 100 part deux

Okay after a long hiatus, and requests from the many fans I have(hi mom) I will continue my 100. Where did I leave off. Ah yes.

51. I love Pearl Jam
52. “Black” is my favorite song, followed by “Elderly Woman behind the counter in a small town”, followed by jeremy.
53. I used to work for the airlines. I was a ticket agent. I thought of death many a time while working there. But I got to fly for free.
54. I went to Hawaii. Flew stand by. Nice trip going there. But, got stuck in Honolulu for two days on the way back. Slept at the airport. They had Hula music blasting all night long. It was fun.
55. I love wearing ties.
56. I don’t take compliments well.
57. For some strange reason, every time I go into a Movie Rental Place like Blockbuster, I always have this sudden urge to use the bathroom. (I guess its because they don’t have a public bathroom)
58. Believe it or not, I actually feel liberated when I wear boxers instead of briefs.
59. I would be an awesome hippie, except I would shower more. (See # 11)
60. I am well endowed. I’m hung like a bear… a care bear. Pah dum bum tish (rim shot)
61. I went to Catholic school. They had nuns and none nuns as teachers. I was in love with Ms. Small(non-nun), my second grade teaching babe. When I look at some old pictures. She was a hound.
62. In the third grade I received critical acclaim for a short story about what I would like to be. I said I would be a coin. This coin would travel the world in different celebrities’ pockets. One of which was Michael Jackson. (I guess that’s not the only way to get into his pants… pah dum bum tish (again with the rim shot.)
63. First grade I fell in love with this beautiful blonde girl named Julie. She smiled at me a lot (that was the extent of our relationship. It was doomed from the beginning). After Christmas break, this torrid love affair went south. She lost her two front teeth. I couldn’t see myself with some toothless hussy. Little did I know that they would grow back. D’oh!
64. I like speaking in public. Although,
65. I am terribly shy.
66. I’ve worked in the Walt Disney World Dolphin Hotel. I was a bus boy. Ahem excuse me, servers assistant.
67. I love the book of Mice and Men.
68. A poem I wrote back in middle school (junior high): Ahem.
Roses are Red, Vidal Sasoon
If you don’t look good
You’re probably ugly.
69. I once had a fight in school. Three administrators passed by and said nothing. They thought we were playing. We must’ve been fighting like idiots.
70. I was in the first Graduating class of a newly built high school in Orlando, Fl.
71. I can’t draw worth a lick
72. I was driving to work the day Kurt Cobain killed himself (actually, I think Courtney did it)
73. I wear contact lenses.
74. I’ve been to Spain, France, Dominican Republic and Mexico.
75. I want to drive to the Grand Canyon from Georgia.
76. I have a love hate relationship with Cruises. (I get sea sick)
77. I had a Chihuahua who was killed by the #36 bus in Bronx, NY. His name was Olaf.
78. I think pregnant women are beautiful. Not in a sick way, you perv.
79. I’m going to a gym. Got a little belly I must kill.
80. Hate chicken gizzards and liver. Not together or separate.
81. I won’t argue with a cashier if she shortchanges me less than a buck.
82. I’m terrible at math.
83. First car: Plymouth Sundance-Crap
84. Favorite song at the moment: Mr. Brightside by the Killers (yeah they’re overplaying it)
85. Favorite country song: “What might have been” by Little Texas. It’s the only country song I know.
86. I want an Ipod.
87. I love to read John Grisham novels (the lawyer ones none of that christmasy crap)
88. I’m afraid to have children because I’m sure I’ll screw them up.
89. “Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun” I don’t know why this was on my mind.
90. Favorite Cereal as a Kid: Fruit loops
91. Worst Cereal ever: “Kaboom!” It had a killer clown on the cover and it tasted like sheet rock.
92. Favorite word: Neomaxyzoomdweebie. Yeah, remember from “the Breakfast club”
93. Most disturbing film I have seen “Saving Private Ryan”
94. Favorite color: Black
95. Favorite color I love to make fun of Pale Fuchsia (what the hell is that?)

And now a word from our sponsor:

Preparation H. Yes, you can use it to prevent bags under your eyes, but make sure you apply to your eyes first. If not, well you get the picture.

The following public service announcement was from: AOPWPSE (the Association of people with poop smelling eyes.)

And now back to our feature presentation already in progress:

96. I once threw a turtle at a friend, who had a baseball bat. He smacked the bejesus out of that thing. I felt bad.
97. I love going into Toys r us.
98. I hate dollar stores and Wal-Mart, but if I ever go into one of those things, I buy a bunch of stuff.
99. I love Pizza, Italian Ices and spaghetti. Who doesn’t?

and last but not least

100. “The opinions expressed are not necessarily the opinions of this station or its affiliates.” I love it when they say that on TV because I know an infomercial’s coming. Run for the hills!!!!

Thanks for wasting your time reading this crap. Now go do something useful. And for crying out loud stop hitting your sister!



P.S. Does any one remember that kids show Romper Room? I’m still paying therapy for the damages it caused. The lady would look at the invisible mirror and call out children’s name. She never called mine.


At 8:42 AM, June 16, 2005, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

When you walk through a dollar store door where everything is a buck it sends your brain a signal to buy everything you can! Love, Linda

At 6:35 PM, June 16, 2005, Blogger Carissa said...

What's wrong with dollar stores (even the non-everything's a dollar stores) and Wal-Mart? Now, I hate Wal-Mart too, but just for the reason that it takes too long and I can't find anything.

What's your excuse.

By the way, I love the list. Can I make one too?

Your fellow Georgian stalker,


At 1:34 PM, June 20, 2005, Blogger just a mom said...

OMG! Are you sure you are not me in a man's body? That's some spookey damn movie EVER!
I am convinced that I have to meet you that creepy?

At 7:32 AM, June 22, 2005, Blogger Underachiever said...

Just a mom. Yes, but thats ok. Whenever UAE, I'll give you a call.


At 1:07 AM, June 23, 2005, Blogger j2 said...

re: romper room.

loved the show! however, they never called my name either. it's not suzy or jane, bobby or's jeanne, like "i dream of jeannie".

anyway, i rented romper room from the library last year to relive the old days. funny you mentioned it.


Post a Comment

<< Home

Free Hit Counters
Free Hit Counter Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.