Friday, July 22, 2005


What Have We Learned This Week?

Its not as popular as WWJD?(Which I assume is Willy Wonka Jam Dancing?, but I digress)

What gem of wisdom did you pry out of the dark, wet mineshaft of your life?(oooh dramatic!)


This is what I learned this week.

Wal-mart Dressing rooms are not your personal night club. Let me splain somezing to you Lucy.

I was visiting my local mom and pop Wal-mart and decided to try on a particular article of clothing.

Sidenote: I don't like to try on clothes, I figure, if its husky, It'll fit. Furthermore, I don't usually shop at Wal-mart for Clothing, it's usually a thrift store, or I just mug a bum. However, occasionally I see a t-shirt or a mumu* that I wouldn't mind wearing and I must try on, just in case. (don't want the mumu riding up, if you know what I mean)

Ok so where was me? Ah yes the dressing room, or as I like to call it Studio 54 version 2.0. I'm in this little room that probably couldn't make it as a bathroom, but, its makes a living.

Soooo, I'm sporting my shirt and then I hear a beautiful melody from the heavens (or ceiling), its "Love Shack" by the B-52's. You know that when you hear this song you gotta dance, you just gotta!

And I did.

I'm lookin' kinda sweet in my mumu, uh I mean manly t-shirt and I am dancing. Yes! I'm dancing, I'm dancing, Its my birthday, Its my birthday. I'm dancing.(At some point I'm doing the "cabbage patch", you know.)

And all this time forgetting that their is a 3 foot opening under the door.

Then the dressing room engineer( I think that's what it says on her name tag) actually opens the dressing room door and asks if everything is ok.

YES! (embarrassed and semi-naked because I instinctively removed my pants although, I wasn't trying any on)

"Oh I'm sorry", the 88 year old Marge says, "it's just that we had a man in here last week who went into an epileptic seizure and we were instructed to open the door immediately, if this would happen again. Since I saw some sporadic movements, I thought it was July 14th* all over again."

(me: more embarrassed and still semi-naked)

Me: "Uh, it's ok I understand, I was just uh... dancing."

Marge: Closes the door and lets me fester in shame.

Me: hoping she gets a memory lapse and forgets the whole thing as she surely runs to her breakroom for open mic night.

Needless to say, I certainly learned my lesson. Which is, if I'm going to dance in the Wal-mart dressing room I should get up on the little bench they provide for you and let her rip.

Please send me you WHWLTW? Submission, they will be graded on penmenship. Thank you for your support.

Speaking of support. Please support the linky links. The just want to be loved, is that so wrong?

*made you look. Hee-Hee!

*they gave that incident its own date!


At 4:01 AM, July 23, 2005, Blogger gunngirl said...

Hmm, actually I learned 2 things this week. First, I thought my lonely blog was just sitting there twiddling her thumbs, but, surprisenly, it was found by the site owner who I blasted about their postings about street dogs overseas. Someone must have told him.

Also, I learned Pavlov's conditioning doesn't just work on dogs! Heh, because my cat, celest LOVES to visit my grandma's house next door in my building and whenever I pick up my keys, she sprints to the door, yips and waits. Smart little sucker.

You'd better grade me on my witty remarks, because, seriously, my penmenship sucks.

At 9:33 AM, July 23, 2005, Blogger Carissa said...

The mental pictures that I have right now...

Great story! I have that problem, too. You just have to dance to that song, even if you are in traffic and everyone is looking at you funny. Especially when you are singing and you accidentally left your windows rolled down some.

I have learned that telling a police officer that the reason you were swerving is because the "Camelwalk" song was on and you were trying to reach for a little debbie that fell on the floorboard. That song always makes me want one.

Oh, I also learned that I'm not very pleasant to talk to when I am woken up in the middle of the night.


At 9:17 PM, July 23, 2005, Blogger dewey said...

I can't not do the 'time warp' You'd think that this would pose no problem, because you don't hear it all that often. You would be wrong. It can spontaneously pop into my head, regardless inappropriate timing.

This week, I have learned that my mother is the root of all evil. A invited me up north for the weekend, but I declined because I had promised my mother I would help her do stuff at her house, and in spite of my many quirks and faults, I am a woman of my word.

My mother asked where he is this weekend. I told her. She said "and you weren't invited?!?!" (somewhat incredulous), I said oh I was but I had promised you I was coming. She said "Oh I wouldn't have minded if you cancelled!" To which I say: Bullllllllllllllshit! If I had cancelled, I would endure days of the silent treatment and weeks of snide remarks. And this, my friends, is why she has no grandchildren.

At 1:57 AM, July 24, 2005, Blogger Underachiever said...

gunny: What am I? Chopped Liver? I read your beautiful blog constantly. Its about playing Bridge, right?

Carissa: Actually, a lil debbie snack on the floor is a federal offense, thus the cops will understand. Camelwalk? you may have to go to jail for that one.

PS Read this part at about 2am:

Me: Wake up! Did you know that shuffleboard is illegal in cambodia?

Carissa: #$#*&^%$#@(Cussing like a sailor)

Me: Hey, you're not being real pleasant right now.

Dewey: Aww! Emotional, and Psychological scars; a mother's true legacy.

Thanks for your comments.

If I haven't said this before, thanks for your comments.



At 10:29 PM, July 24, 2005, Blogger gunngirl said...

Sorry! I thought about you mere SECONDS after hitting post. I meant to say, no one EXCEPT Underachiever. Awwww, you know you're in my blog thoughts! I love to get your posts.

At 11:41 PM, July 24, 2005, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

What have I learned this week or should I say someone in my family LOL YOU CAN NOT KEEP ME OFF THE INTERNET!! Sorry did not mean to yell just excited to be back with no problems.(so far) Also I have learned that you do not go into a auto parts store and ask for brass nuts cause the man behind the counter will ask you honey what size do you need?? and all the other men in there will crack up laughing.

At 4:15 PM, July 25, 2005, Blogger Terri said...

I learnt that when you're sauced on G&T you shouldn't answer a work colleague's phone that he left lying on the table while he went to the bar. Especially when the colleague in question is a guy... and you're a girl... and caller ID says 'Home'...

Hehehe, still laughing at the mental image of u bopping in the dressing room :-))

At 5:37 PM, July 25, 2005, Blogger Carissa said...

Undr, you really did a good impression of me. That is pretty much what I sound like in the middle of the night.

Or, sometimes, the middle of the day...



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