Sunday, August 14, 2005

Ahh! Is that romance in the air or just an unpleasant smell?

Dear Undies:

When one thinks of romance so many different beautiful images shower the mind. There are those thoughts of hearts, poems, roses and power tools. Well maybe not so much roses, but you get what I'm saying. You see, men are technically more romantic than women. Men actually have that threaded into their fiber. Unfortunately, we have lazy entrenched into our soul. Threading and entrenching are two very different animals and words for that matter, thus you see our dilemma.
My dear friend (she don't know me from Adam) Terri (Hi Terri) posted about a romantic outing she had with her gardener Julio. Just kidding, it was her husband Bubba. (Hi Bubba!)
She stated that her husband was a heaping bowl of Romance and Korean movies with Chinese subtitles. On the other hand, she was a putrid disgrace of a romantic. (Not in those exact words, but you get the picture) Terri couldn't, according to her, be romantic if romance got in a car and ran her over, repeatedly. (Which for the record I think is not true. She is the bestest person* in the whole wide world and Canada, Hi Dewey, Anika, Jen-Nae and any other canuck!)

That's when she begged me to write about something romantic a woman did for me. "Well" I thought, "I have had many admirers. This should be easy." (Just in case your taking notes: By many admirers I mean one woman and a flea-infested cat. Hi Lindsay Lohan On Crack!)

And when Terri asks you to write something you better, if not she'll go ballistic on your namby pamby behind.

Therefore, in sheer terror and love, I will oblige Terri, with my story.

It all started when I was an embryo...

Ok that's too far back. Ahhh! My embryonic state... good times.

I was dating a woman named Shaneefa**. She was beautiful, intelligent, and, here's the clincher she was interested in me. We dated for two years and had 17 beautiful children. No, just kidding, we dated for 5 months.

The truth is we were having a good time and she wanted to do something nice for me.

Problem was, Shaneefa was as creative as a thumbtack, but she had good intentions, and I loved her for it.

Consequently, she decided to take me out to eat at a nice restaurant. It was not a special occasion but she wanted to be romantic. I was up in points in this category, since I had been leaving roses on her window sill for a month, so that when she woke up in the morning she would see an expression of my feelings for her.(You see, its threaded into our fiber).

After dinner, we were talking and laughing, laughing and talking and talking and laughing. (Do you get the picture? Good because I want you to feel like you were there, you know, talking and laughing.)

Then she breaks out her gift. It was a little book. A cute little Hallmark journal with blank pages, but you see, the pages weren't blank anymore. On every page of this book she wrote a thought or a poem about our relationship. Little notes about how she thought of me while doing things during the day. Little snippets of "us" etched on the pages of a $10.95 journal.(She left the price sticker on. Ha-ha, cute.)

It was a very romantic gift. Maybe one of the most romantic I've ever gotten and I've gotten many(honest I have) with exception of the fleas that LLOC gave me.
I admit it may not be the most romantic thing you've ever heard of, but it made me feel loved.

So Terrence here are my two cents(.1 cent Canadian) on the topic of womanly romance. Now if you want to know the romantic stuff I've done I assure you there are volumes, but since I have laziness entrenched in my soul...

The end

UnDr (Man, my manliness is definitely coming in to question now. What's wrong with me? Damn you Lifetime movies!!!)

* I say this because I know she is gonna give me a South African Irish beating.

** Real name Boomshackalaka McFargenheimer (Nickname: Agnes)

PS Please give Terri's assignment a shot. If you do she gives me a cut of the profit. Which basically means she will only hurt me a little. If you mention my name she will give you 10% off on a butt whoopin'! What a steal!
Love ya mean it.


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At 12:55 AM, August 15, 2005, Blogger grody jo-dee said...

well, p. is definitely better in the romance dept. i DO nice things for him, but he is REALLY sentimental. about 2 years ago, i was cleaning out his top dresser (junk) drawer, and i found a baggie with a piece of paper in it. i was about to throw it away, but i opened it up first. a napkin with my college phone number was inside. p. had saved the 1st thing that connected us phone number written on a npakin at a party. when i found it, he'd been saving it for about 9 years.

do i win somehing, huh huh?

At 1:57 AM, August 15, 2005, Blogger just a mom said...

OMG! The Major (who is a military manly man - farts, crew cut and all) gives me the mushiest cards that always make me cry. I still have every single one of them.
He also holds my hair back for me when I vomit. I am trying to decide which is more romantic......

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At 2:43 AM, August 15, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 3:57 AM, August 15, 2005, Blogger just a mom said...

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At 4:12 AM, August 15, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 4:20 AM, August 15, 2005, Blogger Terri said...

LOL! Undr I feel privileged 2 have had so much energy devoted to me on ur blog. I'm also getting a lot of strange looks from my colleagues cos I'm supposed 2 b working now, not snorting with laughter at ur post!
Love the little book idea - and Just A Mom, definitely holding ur hair when u vomit is very romantic!

At 4:47 AM, August 15, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 11:47 AM, August 15, 2005, Blogger ramblin' girl said...

hmmm... I think I bring out the unromantic in guys.

At 4:05 PM, August 15, 2005, Blogger dewey said...

RG, me too! It's like a curse. It's our own damn fault for being so awesome. They get intimidated. This is what I tell myself to avoid drinking myself into a stupour. More often than usual...

At 5:13 PM, August 15, 2005, Blogger Carissa said...

I think that there's something about north GA. No romance anywhere around here.

Unless you could the high school guys buying some Boone's Farm and taking the girls up to the old coal mine and telling them "put out or get out."


At 5:14 PM, August 15, 2005, Blogger Carissa said...

Or take them on that carribean exotic vacation in your car that you built yourself with all the corvette parts.



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