Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Babysit-O-Rama 2005

Dear Undies:

Most of you know me as the best thing that has happened to your life. Others as the wind beneath your wings. Some of you don't know my softside. No, its not on the top of my head, funny guy.

The truth is, I am a sentimental fool. Yes, although, I'm one of the pillars of the Blog world, and by pillar I mean, the rusty nail on the floor of the Blog world dumpster, I am human too. I am as sensitive and caring as a 12hr movie marathon on the Lifetime Network. I am so nurturing, that I almost have a uterus, although, I'm sure I have at least a half dozen ovaries.

My point is, I am the epitome of Child care. Thats why this past weekend, I, Undr the Magnificent, the Great, the Boiled Peanut Salesman, offered my services as a babysitter.

Don't worry, I'm okay.

They arrived on Saturday morning. Their parents were leaving on some kind of business, so they pleaded for me to watch over them. I said "How much you gonna pay me?" and they laughed and went on their merry way. I think I actually heard them say and I quote "whooo hoooo!!!" end quote, but I could be wrong.

Afterwhich, the three, count them, three kids looked at me like they were going to kill me. What is a responsible adult to do? That's right give them sugar and let them run around the house. Ten minutes later, they were bored. That's when I acted as a real responsible adult and gave them more sugar but this time told them to pace themselves so the near diabetic shock would last a little longer. Which they obediently did. Eleven minutes later, they were bored. Thats when I decided to rent all the Star Wars Movies and let them watch as I fed them Cheese Doodles and Coke.

Needless to say, after 4 grueling days we are just finishing the last of the Star Wars movies. (they weren't this long when I was a kid)

However, despite the semi-nutritious diet and their controlled potty breaks, they love me. Tonight, I return them to their parents, now that the cops have finally caught up with them.

In conclusion, I conclude that I am an excellent babysitter. Please keep me in mind if you need a vacation or just need to flee the country because you've been a bad, bad, boy(or girl for you feminists). I will take care of your kid(s) or your Swedish Bikini team as if they were my own*.

Either way, Cheese doodles anyone?

Undr(any questions?)

*applies to Swedish Bikini Team only


At 11:24 PM, August 03, 2005, Blogger grody jo-dee said...

you are so brave....and you must be slightly insane.

At 6:41 AM, August 04, 2005, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Try my kids for a day and see how nuturing you will be. LOL

At 2:40 PM, August 04, 2005, Blogger gunngirl said...

You forgot to tell us ages. Diapers and toddlers are a 1,000 extra points. But three kids? Left with a man? Okay, I'll give you your props. You deserve it. Also, Lord of the Rings trilogy may also have worked. (well, for me anyway) =;)

At 3:15 PM, August 04, 2005, Blogger GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

I would kill to see you with those kids. How funny!


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