Friday, August 12, 2005

Confession Time. Party Time! Excellent!

Well my sinful little children. It's time for:

Undr's Confessional
(cue creepy organ music. No, not Enigma, the other stuff)

We all make mistakes and we hope that no one finds out. But the truth is: we will. Here at the Undr's Corner Headquarters and Hair Salon, we see all. Which is amazing because we don't even have cable.
It is time to confess your sins, you cute little evildoer you.

I promise that I will grant you forgiveness and will not hold it against you in a court of law. I have been granted this privilege for one day only, by the UndrWorld Archdiocese and Cracker Jacks(the prize was a sin forgiveness temporary tattoo/License. )

Let me know your confessions ...Or else....You won't and I will be sad.

Here be mine: I like to bathe in the nude. It's wrong but I can't help it.

Seriously, forgive me Fadder for I have sinned, It's been 23 years since my last confession.
I have committed many a heinous crime, but none like this. I love to do the chicken dance.

It started as a funny little novelty dance but it has gone outta control. Now I do "the dance"(that's what the kids call it) at weddings, bar mitzvah's and job interviews. I even did it at a funeral. I've tried to replace it with the Macarena, but it's not the same. The intoxicating polka music, the flapping of my imaginary wings and the butt shake, oh the butt shake. I am addicted to the chicken dance. I would do it now, but this confessional is too small.

Well then, What are you gonna confess my child? Let me know.

It could be any subject. Such as the time you ate your child's art project because you like uncooked macaroni or the time you didn't rewind the movie you rented or the time you xeroxed your butt or other body parts at work.(ooooh let me see!)

Warning, please keep horrible crimes to yourself. For example, I don't want to know you killed your pet hamster Louie with a paper clip. Or that you ripped the tag off your mattress. Or even that you watch Dr. Phil(which will earn you a one way ticket to hell or maybe just North Dakota)

Let me know your true confessions.

Bless you my children,

Priest Reverend Umpire Buddhist Monk and Sherpa.


At 8:47 AM, August 12, 2005, Blogger GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

Undr, I like cheesy 80s hair bands. Does that count? No wait, it probably doesn't because it's not something I hide.

Love you lots!

At 9:25 AM, August 12, 2005, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Dear Under, Forgive me but I secretly listen to the Back Street Boys. I have one of their cds hiden in the back of the closet. I also took 2 extra straws, pile of napkins and 4 packets of ketchup from Burger King the other day. I have not took a bath in over 3 years. I ran a red light the other day while listening to the Back Street Boys. I feel much better now that I have confessed.
Before you began wondering how bad I smell from not taking a bath my house only has a shower no tub. LOL :)

At 12:58 PM, August 12, 2005, Blogger grody jo-dee said...

Dear Undr,

I need your cleansing hand, because i have a serious confession to make. every time "roadhouse" is on tnt, i stop and watch it. it's like a trainwreck that i can't turn away from. is there a RLA (roadhouse lovers anonymous) i can join in my area? it's ruining my life.

At 1:16 PM, August 12, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 1:41 PM, August 12, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 2:40 PM, August 12, 2005, Blogger Lori said...

Dear Undr, please bless me for I have sinned the ultimate sin, I Lori secertly blog at nite when nobody is looking. P.S. I bet the crapola out of some guy with a plastic chair (true).

At 3:30 PM, August 12, 2005, Blogger dewey said...

Not a confession, just a rant... The new blogger comment scam is really friggin' annoying! Can it be deleted?

Confession: I let my then-almost-mother-in-law eat hash brownies. It wasn't deliberate, I just didn't stop her from eating them and didn't tell her after she did.

She called me later to tell me they were so good, she felt positively "euphoric" after eating them, and they were the BEST brownies she had ever eaten.

At 4:17 PM, August 12, 2005, Blogger gunngirl said...

father Undr, forgive me, but I write Buffy and Angel fanfiction. I know, both shows are off the air now, but I still do it. I also have a Buffy novel that I want to post on my BtVS website. Oh wait, that's two sins.

I also sneak into movies at the theatre without paying, whenever I can.

At 8:25 AM, August 13, 2005, Blogger Underachiever said...

Father Undr Here:

Ermmmm, uhhhhh, yeah you're all going to hell. There's nothing I can do. When the following are involved: Backstreet Boys, Burger King Condiment Theft, Loving Roadhouse, secret blogging, lawn chair beatings, Funny Brownies Writing Buffy and Theatre sneaking, there is no mercy.

UNDr(Burning witcha)

PS The comment scam is definitely going to be with the likes of Hitler and Martha Stewart in Hades.

At 8:27 AM, August 13, 2005, Blogger Underachiever said...

Triple G'05

Your love of 80's Hairbands(although some of the singers barely have hair) are ok. You will have to do community service, but will be on probation in heaven for 6 months.

Love ya lots back


At 10:53 AM, August 13, 2005, Blogger Carissa said...

Dear Undr,

I have a confession to make. I will take or try anything that is free. I just can't help it. Some people say it's the Jew in me.

And then I will hoard the things (with a bunch of other stuff). Is that the rat in me?


PS - If you don't let anon comment, you won't get the stupid spam stuff.

At 11:13 AM, August 13, 2005, Blogger Underachiever said...

Dear Carissa:

Jew good, rat gooder.

You'll be in heaven, but we'll be watching.


At 3:54 PM, August 14, 2005, Blogger GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

6 months! My goodness!!


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