Saturday, August 27, 2005

Letters from Readers. Yes, I have readers. Silly goose!

Dear Undies:

As I eat my hearty homemade hamburger, I'm reading some of the many letters I received from my faithful readers. (P.E.T.A. Don't worry. The hamburger is only 30% beef and 70 % baby seal.)

I always appreciate your comments, suggestions, questions and the occasional naked picture(Thanks grandma! Shudder!)

Here is one comment from the enchanting shipkicker

She said...
ummm i was suprisingly enlightened by your list and how you just seemed to really open up and then i got to the part about kelly clarkson and are you f'in kidding? Not to knock your taste or anything but oh well i guess i just did... sorry undr...


Dearest Shippy:

When I first read this comment my first reactions was:

"OH NO SHE DIDN'T!!!!!
Get the vaseline! Hold my earrings and sharpen my acrylic nails!!!!! IT'S ON!!!!! You, young lady, have just been invited to the cat fight of the year. "

Then it dawned on me. Shipkicker can totally muss me up. I mean, she kicks ships for crying out loud!

After I realized this, I began to reflect on my Kelly Clarkson addiction. As you know this is an ailment I have spoken about with candor. Read this. Thank you shipkicker for making me remember my problem. Thus, I am resolved and I solemly swear to give up on Kelly Clarkson for good. Therefore, I ask you to take out your personal printout of "7 things about me" post, and "Wite out" the part where I list Kelly Clarkson as a celebrity crush. (I know you print out my posts and put them in your "I heart Undr" scrapbook, you cute lil' stalker you.)

Is the "Wite Out" dry yet?

Good.

Now write this name in its place:

Hillary Duff.




Thanks shippy.

Undr



Here's another letter:


The always amusing, yet terrifyingly violent Terri said...

Excellent interview, Undr! I almost spat my coffee all over my keyboard at the "please feel free to stop by and drop your pants", bit. LOL!And f.y.i. the At Large Blog was one of the first I ever started reading regularly, but sh! don't tell him - I now read yours more often than I read his.

LuvYaToo!


Dear Terri John Jacob Jinglehiemerschmidt:(Hey, that's my name too!)

I am appalled that you would actually say that you read my blog more often than the At Large Blog. Mr. Chianca is an award winning columnist. Granted, most of his awards are his children's finger paint and booger art, but they are awards nonetheless. I know my interview was good. As a matter of fact Mr. Chianca actually emailed me and said that I have a future in fake internet talk shows. ( sidenote: I was so glad he read my post. For two days I was in a dark corner in the fetal position sucking on my big toe awaiting his response. Whew! I'm glad he emailed me. My toe was getting all "pruney")

But to compare this trash to his wonderful blog is a travesty. Shame on you Terri.

Now, Don't think I am just scolding you to impress Mr. Chianca and that I really don't mean it.* And Don't think that I was flattered.* And don't think I was drunk with the sweet nectar of your words.* And Definitely don't think that I encourage you to read my blog all the time.*

Thanks Terri, it means a lot.

Love,

Undr(aww shucking!)



To all my readers: Thanks for wasting your time in da corner. Do you have you any questions, comments, insults, death threats or the occasional naked picture? Please send them my way. (Except you grandma!)

Love ya, mean it.

UNDRINI Guisseppe Kournikova

*subliminal messages

13 Comments:

At 5:33 PM, August 27, 2005, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

I have a question. Did you have bacon on your beef/seal burger??

 
At 11:49 PM, August 27, 2005, Blogger Lori said...

Can you sing the whole song to John Jacob Jinglehiemerschmidt?

 
At 11:54 PM, August 27, 2005, Blogger j2 said...

just so you know- i find your kelly crush more acceptable than the new hillary crush.

i'm just sayin.

 
At 2:44 AM, August 28, 2005, Blogger Jen-Nae said...

You gotta love Shipkicker...she's the ship..oh wait, Im mean "shit" she's the shit!

 
At 2:18 PM, August 28, 2005, Blogger gunngirl said...

j2-- Amen! Hilary Duff? Undr, c'mon. God, at least KC can sing.

 
At 4:55 PM, August 28, 2005, Blogger No-L said...

Oh, I agree Hillary Duff??? What are you thinking? There are way too many fish in the sea to pick either of them.

 
At 5:21 PM, August 28, 2005, Blogger Underachiever said...

Hey don't blame me. Shipkicker is responsible for my new Hillary Duff fixation.

Undr(it's gross I know)

 
At 6:14 PM, August 28, 2005, Blogger Carissa said...

The Duffster? She who fought over AARON CARTER? She who keeps getting skinnier and skinnier? She who is underage? (Hey, another Undr! Ha!)

K-Cla was soooo much better as your crush.

Carissa

 
At 8:55 PM, August 28, 2005, Blogger shipkicker said...

dear undi

thank you for taking my suggestion into consideration. i am much happier about your current choice of hilary duff because i mean god she is tv's lizzie mcquire and does have incredible fashion sense. however, my parents (yah i still live at home so what its free) weren't happy about the white out on the computer monitor.

love, shippy

 
At 3:52 PM, August 29, 2005, Blogger exMI said...

WEll, duff is better looking than Clarkson at least. Talent wise though, it's a wash.....

 
At 10:19 PM, August 29, 2005, Blogger Gowan will not be silenced said...

this has nothing to do with this post, but I'm just curious if you know of mine and Shipkicker's band - 8 purses and a backpack. We cover all the latest and greatest...acoustically if you will.

 
At 11:18 PM, August 29, 2005, Blogger shipkicker said...

we do an amazing rendition of i'm still jenny from the block.

 
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