Saturday, October 29, 2005

WHWLTW? Oh great, this looks like fun.

Dear Undies:

Run for your lives! It's time once again for America's, Canada's and Guam's favorite segment: WHWLTW? If you're wondering what the heck this means, well you're in luck, 'cuz I'm about to tell you. It is What Have We Learned This Week? It's like the NRA but Charlton Heston won't return our calls.

That's right my little prison escapees. It's time for me to tell you what I done learned and for you to tell me what you learned. The simplicity is uncanny!

I Learned This Week.... (ILTW-thanks J2!)

...1 That Janet Jackson may or may not have had a child 18 years ago. (I'm pretty sure it aint mine.) I know I speak for all of North America and Indonesia, when I say "Who give's a flippin' fart?!"

...2 That to get close to God, you must swallow life gold fish. Take that Nemo!

...3 That Mr. Zulu is gay. (Next they'll say that Melissa Etheridge is a Lesbian shhhhhyeah Right!) I believe it was episode X2134b2 that I noticed Mr. Zulu checking out Captain Kirk's butt. Then again, who didn't?

...4 That I ain't the only one afraid of the King ( Hi Glitter!)


and last but not least:

...5 That I corrupt young impressionable minds. Let me 'splain. I was waiting in line at a bank. This little kid was in front of me with his mom. Apparently, the kid mistook me for a melon-headed clown and began to joke around with me. He asked me dumb questions and made goofy faces. It was a fun-fun good time! ( I love kids so that doesn't irritate me.)

However, the good times ended abruptly when I jokingly called him a peanut head! (Sidenote: I don't know why I called him a peanut head. I like the terms bonehead, or butthead, but peanut head? I dunno.)

Anyway, this kid, this goofy kid, must've liked the term. He demonstrated his love for this name by repeating it over and over again! You would think that this is ok. Unfortunately, he doesn't pronounce the words correctly and instead of "peanut" he says "peanus head"
--"Peanus Head, Peanus Head, Peanus Head, Peanus Head!"

His mom, you know the goofy kids mom, gave me this look. She wanted to kill me. Everybody in the line wanted to kill me. Now, In my defense, I swear on Marky Mark Walhberg's third nipple that I didn't do this on purpose. I just called him a peanut head as a joke, but it backfired on me.

"Peanus Head! Peanus Head! Peanus Head!" The little guy chanted

By this time I'm practically signing over my paycheck to this kid. Peanus Head Peanus Head Peanus Head! Oh and of course, he starts annunciating it: "PEA-NUS HE-EAD!" and singing it "Peeeanuuuuuussss Heeeead!"

Then I get the bright idea of bribing him. I tell him. "Hey Goofy, if you stop saying that Momma is gonna get you pizza!"

Whew! He stopped.

For about 2 seconds.

Then he broke into a musical production he called "Pizza Peanus head!" He had a little dance number to go with it too. It would've been cute in another context, but in this one it was down right wrong.

Me being the shy person that I am, there was no way, I could stay there any longer. I decided to leave.

As I'm walking out,

The mom grabs me by the arm and just looks at me.

And all I could muster up to say to her was, "yeah I know, I know, I'm a peanus head...."

The end.


Well folks this is what I learned this week. What about you? Let me know, if not, make it up.

Love,

Undr


PS Have a good weekend everyone! By the by, remember to check out the linky links. Some of the Hiatus-ers are back and this time it's personal da- da dummmm!. Love ya, mean it!

Double Mocha PS: I'm working on my deep thoughts answer still, so keep your panties on!


Triple PS: Last week I reported that Mr. Floatie had dropped out of the mayoral race. I wrote a poem for Mr. Floatie the Poopie candidate for Mayor of Vicky, BC Canada.


Mr. Floatie
Your Rock my Boaty
If you had a castle
I'm sure you'd have a Moaty


Mr. Floatie
He wants your votey
and If he wins
He will not Gloaty



the end. Thank you.

13 Comments:

At 7:56 AM, October 29, 2005, Blogger Lori said...

ILTW: That some people in this world have no morals and have no backbone to do the right thing and they put peoples health and welfare in danger and dont care that they are doing that.

 
At 11:01 AM, October 29, 2005, Blogger cherish said...

I learned that you are absolutely HYSTERICAL Undr... I am laughing so very hard and I really needed it. Thank you...

I also learned that no matter how much time passes a heartbreak is a heartbreak and it can come back to bite you in the ass at anytime. So I have been feeling sorry for myself but this post about the boy in the bank really made me laugh.

 
At 5:42 PM, October 29, 2005, Blogger cherish said...

PS: That Burger King guy freaks me out beyond belief and I ALWAYS change the channel if a commerical with him comes on.

 
At 1:15 PM, October 30, 2005, Blogger Ben O. said...

That Burger King dude is immensely creepy. I swear they are in the planning stages of making a horror movie with him as the psycho killer. It will probably hurt Burger sales, but it will be a big hit with the teenagers.

Ben O.

 
At 2:51 PM, October 30, 2005, Blogger dewey said...

This week, I learned that kids have boundless energy. Even when they are sick. I think they draw it from their adult caregivers, because I don't seem to have any left.

 
At 7:21 PM, October 30, 2005, Blogger shipkicker said...

maybe the mom was just lookin for a baby daddy when she grabbed your arm. hmmmmm?

 
At 8:20 PM, October 30, 2005, Blogger j2 said...

ILagainTW that i have serious procrastination issues. or would you say i work better under pressure?

the BK king used to creep me out but i think i like him now.

 
At 7:52 AM, October 31, 2005, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

I learned if your patient enough your phone is back on!!!!
BK King is one creeeeepy thing.

 
At 2:00 PM, October 31, 2005, Blogger Tanya Kristine said...

no. thank YOU Peeeanuuus head....

 
At 2:36 PM, October 31, 2005, Blogger grody jo-dee said...

i must be alone here when i say that i LIKE the BK king commercials. i do find him creepy, but that's what is so funny. that and the hootie and blowfish cameo.

 
At 3:56 PM, October 31, 2005, Blogger gunngirl said...

I HATE the Burger King king almost as bad as I hated those gross Quiznos things, whatever the hell they were. FREAKED ME OUT!
Oh, and never mess with little kids, you always come out to be the bad guy. And since you're a man (no offense) you alwasy look creepier.

Love ya, and Happy Halloween!

(Gunngirl passes out candy to the blog posters)

 
At 3:57 PM, October 31, 2005, Blogger gunngirl said...

Oh, and I learned (possibly re-learned) I need to outline my novel before jumping right in. That's a sure fire way to start over 3 billion times.

 
At 11:27 AM, November 01, 2005, Blogger GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

That stinking king is gonna haunt me until kingdom come. At least I know I'm not alone and Undr will protect my glittery glammy ass.

 

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