Friday, November 18, 2005

NO WHWLTW? It's a miracle!

Dear undies:

This week’s “WHWLTW?” Will be pre-empted to show you the following pearl and swine cartoon.

(click on cartoon if you can't see, Mr. Magoo!)

j2 asked me not to do it this week. I’m only doing it because she asked nicely. And by nicely I mean she kidnapped my sock puppet Sebembo. If she weren’t so stinkin’ purty, I would stick my tongue out at her and run to tell my momma. So this week we will do a substitute segment. It’s futuristic. It is called WWYDTW? What in the Helen Keller is that? Well, I’ll tell ya nosey! It stands for What Will You Do This Weekend? How does it work? Ok, Questiony Mcquestioner, it simple. I done tell ya what I’m doing this weekend and you tell me what you’re gonna do.

So this is what I’m going to do this weekend.

1. I’m going to a Boiled Peanut Salesman Seminar. Titled: “How to convince your customers that (a) they are not mouse fetuses and (b) they are not marinated in elephant pee.”

2. I am so gonna work on getting secret passages installed at my house. Right now all I have is windows and doors. HMPH! (
Hi Anika!)

3. I will be involved in my neighborhood’s “Triathlon for a cure”. Yes, diaper rash affects .000001 percent of the Adult population (Ok,just me). With your help and with baby powder we can combat this silent itcher. By the by, when I say triathlon, it involves the “Big Three” i.e. Hopscotch, Double Dutch and Hide and Seek. I am last years reining champion. In your first grade face, Susie Mcgherkinheimer!

4. I will be dancing with myse-elf oh oh!

5. I will be thinking about joo.

That is what I will be doing this weekend. How about you? Tell me! Come on! I promise I won’t crash your party! Honest! Let me know, if not make it up.



PS Give me back Sebembooooo! Love ya, mean it!

Quote of the week: “
aand the Meth just wore off.” Credit Joey “the Cheese” Tribbiani

Runner up: “The one with the wet spot.” Credit: Revy-Rev Billy Bob Thorton Gisher.

Second Runner up:
“supple.That has to be the sexiest word, eh?it's like a cross between nipple and supper. Credit: Sadie poo.

Wasn’t even in the Running: “Damn Klansmen!” Credit: Undr


At 1:14 PM, November 18, 2005, Blogger Liz said...

Well, Undr...Sebembo is being held for a ransom of a celery stick and a copy of next week's people with Matthew McHottie McConaughey on the cover. Once I see that you will get Sebembo McSockie and not until then.

This weekend I will be suffering with the inlaws selebrating "Murder the Turkey Day" 6 days early. I will also be crafting my "Happy 'what ever holiday you celebrate' cards. And if the inlaw thing weren't enough, I will be torturing myself at the gym...why must exercise be so good for you???

I hope you have more fun than I will. Happy days.

At 4:08 PM, November 18, 2005, Blogger muse-in-training said...

I'm...going to a baby shower that's taking place during Punk Rock Night at a local dive.

I'm...going to try to come up with new and exciting excuses why I shouldn't have to do housework.

I'm...probably going to have to do housework anyway.

*word ver=zhlhqdfd
Why can't I ever get short ones?

At 4:45 PM, November 18, 2005, Blogger anika said...

You're gonna have secret passages installed in your house?! Can I come over?!?!

At 4:53 PM, November 18, 2005, Blogger Terri said...

Go shopping for a big chest. No, we're not talking boobies, we're talking a large wooden box to put stuff in so I can empty the closet in the guest room in preparation for my step-children visiting for 5 weeks.
Plan to do housework then go on a massive guilt trip for not doing it.
Go to someone's engagement party.
Watch SA beat Wales in rugby :-)

Have a good one, Undr!
PS Keep the cartoons coming - they're hysterical!!!

At 5:38 PM, November 18, 2005, Blogger ramblin' girl said...


pathetic, I know.

At 8:50 PM, November 18, 2005, Blogger Shannon said...

Hmmm well I am going to be christmas shopping tommorrow...

Sunday-It's family day! Plus football!

Tonite- I will watch a movie

Exciting huh? Remind me to get a life? lol

At 8:51 PM, November 18, 2005, Blogger cherish said...


Okay when the heck did I get so boring????

I am going to my son's CHAMPIONSHIP Football Game on Saturday.... Fingers crossed!!!!!
~woooo hoooooo~

At 9:27 PM, November 18, 2005, Blogger notjoecheese said...

Wow, quote of the week? Thanks, but with all respect to Dave Barry, "Damn Klansmen" would be an excellent name for a rock band. As for your inquiry, I will probably end up doing what I do every weekend, listen to death metal with the volume turned up to eleven, while mailing celebrities pictures of cats that I drew. "Dear Miss Lohan, I think Precious is a perfect fit for you..."
Somehow, I've actually gotten weirder since I started reading your blog.

At 1:59 AM, November 19, 2005, Blogger Stellastoria said...

To do this weekend:
Drink some beers whist reading random blogs (check)
Break out my hookah & stink up the house (check)
See Johnny Cash movie cuz I just can't help meself
Leave the apartment
Play with Mr. Miyagi(check)
Laundry -- (pre-req.: leave apartment)

Looks like I got a pretty good headstart =)

At 10:42 AM, November 19, 2005, Blogger dewey said...

LAST weekend, I was in Montreal, known in Canada for being an awesome party town. Because it is. I was cheering my lungs out at a hockey game and then dancing the night away until 4am.

Last NIGHT, I was sitting on my couch, sipping decaf tea, watching black and white movies that I rented ON PURPOSE. As I pushed my glasses up from the bridge of my nose to examine my knitting. Yes, examine my knitting, I realized something:

Holy shit! It IS possible to go from 30 to 60 years old in a single week.

At 10:45 AM, November 19, 2005, Blogger dewey said...

In light of my realization, I have decided that tonight, I will go out to a bar and lick tequila shots off a strange man. Just to prove, to myself if no one else, that I've still got it.

At 2:35 PM, November 19, 2005, Blogger Gareth said...

I'm going to help Undr build his secret passages and then I'm going to help Anika get lost in them :-)

At 7:03 PM, November 19, 2005, Blogger gunngirl said...

I'm not telling you what I learned this week because you don't come visit me anymore. Hmph!

At 7:19 PM, November 19, 2005, Blogger j2 said...

this weekend consists of getting pictures developed, drinking miller high life (the champagne of beers), waitressing and doing school work.

pearls before swine fuckstarts your face.


At 8:46 AM, November 21, 2005, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

I know I am late so I will tell you what I did instead of what I was going to do.
Friday-called the phone company again! Called them again in the afternoon. Called them again that night.

Saturday-called the phone company. Called them again. I know they are getting tired of me.

Sunday-Thanked the phone guys from Canada who fixed my lines once again.

At 12:11 PM, November 21, 2005, Blogger glomgold said...

Pearls Before Swine is pretty damn good. A great side benefit is seeing all the angry emails of readers who write in to complain to the local papers for carrying it.

At 3:44 PM, November 25, 2005, Blogger Sadie Lou said...

I made your "quote of the week". I'm flattered.
Thank you.


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