Friday, November 25, 2005

WHWLTW?

Editors Note: Thank you for your holiday well wishes. I had chicken, which is considered a vegetable by PETA. This is a combination of last week's WHWLTW? and some of this week's.
I hope everyone is doing well and that you have enough gravy in your systems to choke an elephant. Love ya my peeps! Word!

ps Not Joe, I'm sorry I couldn't get the bail money in time. All I have to say is "I pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. "Big hairy 350 lbs man". Congratulations! (BTW his name is Cupcake)

Dear Undies:

Hey Kids! You know what time it is? Noooo, it's not time for Toe Jam jamboree! It's time once again for the Greatest Show in the empty warehouse near the abandoned building on Earth. That's right! It is time once again for WHWLTW?

If you don't know what this mean. Then you get a time-out! These six letters stand for What Have We Learned This Week? It's like the NFL except we don't use steroids here. Estrogen yes, Steroids no.

How does this work? It's easy, I tell you what mucusy slime of knowledge stuck to my brain and you tell me what you learned. It's easy and not as addictive as Hooked on Phonics.

Without further Apu :

I give ye the lessons of the week.

I learnded:

1 Surprisingly enough, Secret is strong enough for a man, but made for woman. Darn you feminists!

2 That making those ready to bake Pillsbury chocolate chip cookies, does not give me the right to call myself a "Culinary Genius"

3 And that after making the aforementioned cookies, it is inappropriate to burst into a room and proudly chant "I am a MASTER BAKER." It just doesn't sound right. Sorry Grandma!

4 I also learned that when you are sick, people give you the weirdest home remedies.

For example: This is an excerpt of a real conversation I had with a friend this past week.
For the purposes of protecting my celebrity friend I have changed his name.

Prad Bitt: Undr Dude, you should like take some "Colon Cleanse" to clean your germs by way of the colon.

Undr : uhhh since when do I have a cold in my butt? I mean did you hear it cough? Cuz I sho didn't

(I apologize.)

5 and I learnded, that I am vain, and by vain I mean conceited, and by conceited I mean ugly. You see for two days now, I have been wearing only one contact lens. The other one, which I affectionately called "Lefty", fell down the drain. So instead of wearing glasses, I wore one contact. At first, I was dizzy, and bumping into things. But, thank God for that eyepatch! It made things a little bit better. Except, I can almost bet that it might have been more effective had I worn it on the eye without the contact. Oh well, "Hindusight is 20/20", Said the Gandhi.

Well, these are some of the things I learned. How about you, you little ball of love? Did you learn anything? Let me know, if not make it up!

Love,

Undilation.

PS Have a good weekend everyone. I will be a little busy over the weekend. I have two Tupperware parties to host and a Jell-O wrestling contest to judge. So, If I'm not home when you ring the doorbell, make sure you break in. Love ya, mean it!


Quote of the week: "Gotta look good in hell" Credit Shannon

Lyric of the Week: "All I want is not to need you now" credit DC "turpentine chaser"

18 Comments:

At 8:59 AM, November 25, 2005, Blogger Lori said...

I learned this week you can have Thanksgiving without cooking a turkey despite everyones reaction when you tell them you or not cooking one. On our T-day menu was steak and shrimp. Which would you rather have turkey or steak and shrimp?

 
At 9:07 AM, November 25, 2005, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

I learned this week-that cool whip fights with your kids is AWESOME except for the clean up. Also it is nice to enjoy the first few minutes of your fav. show CSI withouth a phone call from your evil twin. heee heee sis did you forget it was Thursday. luv, Lindy-Lin

 
At 10:22 AM, November 25, 2005, Blogger Shannon said...

LOL I got quote of the week!!! Wooohooo bring out the jello Undie!!...I am so proud of me! haha thanks so much! Anyways, I am now crushed that pillsbury is not considered "chef worthy"... I held out hope, now what will I do? What do I tell the kids? Anyone have a tissue? BTW... shower before work on Monday, the green jello is a b*tch to get out!

 
At 1:20 PM, November 25, 2005, Blogger Terri said...

lol! Undie where do you come up with this stuff?
I learned this week that when you learn something that makes you go, "Ooh, that'll be good for Undr's WHWLTH!" then you should write it down immediately else you'll forget it by the time Friday comes round.
Bah humbug ;-)

 
At 2:43 PM, November 25, 2005, Blogger muse-in-training said...

I learned that I will never be able to get breast implants. So there goes my hopes of being the next Pamela Anderson.

I also learned that you can get away with a lot at work after your boss makes a several-thousand-dollar mistake!

 
At 3:41 PM, November 25, 2005, Blogger Sadie Lou said...

I learned that Thanksgiving is the only time I allow all my foods to touch and interact with one another. Peas, Potatoes, Turkey, Gravy, Stuffing--they all can hold hands and work together to make my belly happy.

 
At 4:23 PM, November 25, 2005, Blogger Gareth said...

Dude I thought you were making this Quote of the Week stuff up! I will have to put a few quotes into my posts next week and slip you $10 into your back pocket too, but no one is to know about the money thing! I will be winning this fairly and squarely. Or a fairy and a squirrel as I like to say.

 
At 6:46 PM, November 25, 2005, Blogger gunngirl said...

I hope you caught A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Thursday, undr, I forgot to remind you.

Damn! I missed CSI! Damn, damn, damn! Oh, sorry Undr.

I learned this week that I really miss Christmas shopping. Basically because I miss having money. Sniff.

I also learned that though I sorta missed our big family gatherings for Thanksgiving, having just three family members for dinner at my mom's was really great.

 
At 7:04 PM, November 25, 2005, Blogger SuperSpyGal said...

I learned that...with enough alcohol in your system on Thanksgiving, it makes spending time with certain relatives much more pleasurable...I also learned that Turkey gizzards are not just "spare parts".

 
At 11:56 PM, November 25, 2005, Blogger High Desert Diva said...

I learned that I'm not the only one who hates wearing glasses :D...Thanks Undie!

Of course, even with my contacts in, I still bump into stuff but only because I'm also a klutz :P

 
At 7:52 AM, November 26, 2005, Blogger Clumsy ;) said...

I learned (again) that walking around without make-up isn't as big a catastrophe as I always imagine...
(But, of course, I'm not gonna stop wearing make-up, being a make-up artist and proud mascara addict...)

 
At 12:20 PM, November 26, 2005, Blogger notjoecheese said...

I learned that if your mom's out of town, it is still not a good idea to have your dad cook the turkey. He might decide not to remove that little bag of turkey parts and then serve it to you as "dark meat." (Our Thanksgiving was last month but I've only just become emotionaly stable enough to talk about it.)

 
At 6:35 PM, November 26, 2005, Blogger cherish said...

I learned that shopping on Black Friday is for the insane. I thought I would give it a shot this year for the first time ever, and I can honestly say it was my LAST time!!!

Undr you have a great sense of humor and I love your blog!!

Hugss,
Cherishy or Cher thinks Undr changed my name.... wonders which one it is now?

 
At 10:53 AM, November 27, 2005, Blogger GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

I made those cookies and everyone thought I made them and all I said was Thank You! LOL.

 
At 3:11 PM, November 27, 2005, Blogger Missuz J said...

Hmmm. I made an effort to learn NOTHING at all this week. However--I did, surprisingly, loose my secret deodorant, borrowed my husband's, and walked around with man-pits all day.

 
At 5:16 PM, November 27, 2005, Blogger ramblin' girl said...

learned that although there are benefits to being the only single kid left in my family (thanks to Dad for helping me install a dog door), there are definite drawbacks that likely outweigh them. such as having to help Mom with all the prep and cleaning because my brothers and sister were too busy "entertaining" their significant others...

 
At 6:34 PM, November 27, 2005, Blogger Phats said...

APU rocks, thank you come again

 
At 12:57 AM, November 28, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Undr:

This is what I learned this week:


that i am too much of a perfectionist to start on anything.

j2(ghost writer: AEX)

 

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