Tuesday, December 13, 2005

It's time to stand up!

Dear Undies,

If there's one thing I learned from the Reverend Billy Bob "Gishy" Gisher is that you have to stand up for your rights and not just to party. Now, you know, that this blog is not political, informative or even entertaining. However, once in a while I feel like I have to stand up for the little people and get out of their way because they give me the creeps.

Anyhow, has anyone noticed the increase in prices for normal everyday items that make it necessary for our society to function?

Who makes the decision to up the prices astronomically and expect us to bend over and take it?

Who is going to put a stop to this obvious disregard for humanity?

Who put the proverbial Bop in the Bop shoo bop shoo bop?

I wish I had an answer to these and many other questions, but unfortunately, I don't. Mainly because I have a black and white television whose only functioning channel is QVC. (Wow, the GroinMaster is on sale!)

Well dear reader, it's time we took a stand against the big corporations! First, by going into
Wal-Mart and purchasing the nicest "Taking a Stand Against the Big Corporations" Flannel ensemble by Kathy Lee Gifford. And then, yelling to the big corporations; "Hey! Stop that!"

You're probably wondering why good ol' Undr is bringing this up with Secretary's Day being so close and all. The reason is because I know what I stands and I can't stands no more!

Unless you've been living under a rock, which is probably rent controlled, you would know what I am talking about. Apparently the powers that be have decided to screw the consumer and increase the prices on the Wendy's 99 cent Value Menu! To quote a very famous statesman Larry the Cable Guy; "What the hell is this, Russia?"

I am appalled! Don't get me wrong I usually don't eat at Wendy's, on account of their food tastes like feet smothered in butt. That's why I try to support our local burger joint; The Gaping Lard Hole Restaurant and Bait Shop of Gumlog, GA. However, sometimes I find myself in Wendy's taking advantage of their reasonable prices for artery clogging food. That's when I realized that some of the items were $1.29! A. Buck. Twenty. Friggin. Nine! WTF!(What the Fart!?)

Oh they try to compensate by adding "new" items on the menu: like the Fix and Mix Frosty. Which is less the two thirds the amount of Frosty with a bunch of rejected M&M's. Who the hell wants to pay $1.29 for a little bit of Frosty and 2 cents worth of retarded M&M's?

Ok I do. It's actually quite good.

Either way, you see why I am so irked by this.

So the question is: "What can we do, Undr?" Don't worry I'll tell you. You must write to your local politicians, clergy men and possibly to your elementary school cafeteria lady who looks awful lot like a man.

Here is a sample of my letter to the President of the US of A:

Dear Mr. Reagan,

Tear Down that Wall of high prices for semi-edible food! Gosh Durn it!.

You see, it's pretty easy. Just take your pen, pencil or crayon and write to your public officials immediately. If you think it will help, write to your favorite Religious Mascot. Like, Santa Claus, Hannukah Harry, Kwanzaa Ken, Muslim Morty, Buddy the Buddhist, Willy the Wacky Wiccan, and Rick the Flying Ravioli Monster. Any little bit helps.

Thank you.



PS: Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me either. Please stop by and say hello! Love ya, mean it!


At 12:04 AM, December 13, 2005, Blogger gunngirl said...

I don't usually eat at Wendy's either unless I'm really, really hungry. I didn't know about the price increase, but I do notice that, unfortunetly, prices are at $1.29 downtown but $.99 in neighborhood stores. (Sucky high rent to pay)

Glad you're taking a stand Undr! I got my billboard! I got my bullhorn!


At 12:19 AM, December 13, 2005, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

I was just there and didnt notice the price change. Gettin my crayons out to write Santa about this.

At 10:00 AM, December 13, 2005, Blogger cherish said...


You are muh hero!!


Now where is dat purple craaaaYYOOONNNN

At 11:36 AM, December 13, 2005, Blogger Gareth said...

"feet smothered in butt" - LMAOOOO

Ok dude be very grateful that you don't live over here! We have very expensive taste over here, or should I say our Government has very expensive taste. Yes yes that sounds better.
Quick example: I filled my tank up yesterday. £1.91 per litre which is $3.36 per litre which is $15.27 per gallon ... I kid you not!!!
Ok you can pick yourself up off the floor again lol :)

At 11:56 AM, December 13, 2005, Blogger Shannon said...

First of all Gareth??!! Holy Hannah!! OMG!! That is nuts!! May the lord be with you on that!!

Undie- I have to say,this post was your funniest lmaoooo... I loved it! I agree with you here, in general we as a society do not make enough to support the ever rising prices of today's necessity's! Everyone is scraping by. Not cool... but now I can't eat at Wendy's anymore for someeeee reason! =) yuck! lol

At 5:03 PM, December 13, 2005, Blogger ramblin' girl said...

um, trying to think of something to say... but apparently my brain needs a restart. maybe later?

At 6:17 PM, December 13, 2005, Blogger SuperSpyGal said...

$1.29 ???...that's a bit steep. Now where will my dates take me on a Saturday night???

This not only messes with the economy, but also my social life!

At 11:11 PM, December 13, 2005, Blogger Stellastoria said...

I'm writing the ghost of Pat Morita to come haunt those slimy 30c gouging CEO jerks. Then... Chuck Norris will force the prices down with a roundhouse kick to the face.


At 11:24 PM, December 13, 2005, Blogger notjoecheese said...

Undr, I would love to stand with you on this one but unfortunately I'm currently under investigation for ripping the head off that Jack in the Box guy at a promotional event. You'll never guess who it is. (Hint: It's Chevy Chase.)

At 12:37 PM, December 14, 2005, Blogger Liz said...

Rick the Flying Ravioli Monster...Undr - you crack me up! Flying Ravioli is the next up and coming religion...so I hear anyway!

At 3:34 AM, December 17, 2005, Blogger rev. billy bob gisher ©2005 said...

thanks for helping me laugh at myself. very funny stuff. but the price of gas here: $2.38 per gallon? that ain't funny.


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