Thursday, December 22, 2005

Job interview.

Dear Undrinis:

As you know, I have been needing an assistant here at the Underachiever's Corner. Someone professional to read my hate mail and to give their home address to protect me from the drive-by eggings and T.P.-ing. Therefore I have decided to interview you. The candidate(s) I choose will have the privilege of working under me. By under I mean on the lower bunk, because I always get the top bunk. (I've always wanted a Bunk bed!)

My previous Sexy assistant has recently been fired because I just realized "she" was a guy. (Note to self: NotJoeCheese is not short for Not Joanna Cheese.) He will remain as a highly paid consultant and he will ocasionally dance for me. Sorta like a monkey but in no way offensive to said monkey.

So, here are my interview questions. fill 'em out. Even if you would never work for me or you have a sexual harassment suit against me at this time. Just play along already! Sheesh.


1. Tell me about yourself?

2. Why should we hire you?

3. Why do you want to work here?

4. What are your weaknesses?:

5. What did you dislike about your last job?

6. Where do you see yourself in five years?

7. What outfits will you prance around in?(Very important question.)

8. Will you show undying devotion to Undr? (No is usually the answer here. I understand)

So there you have it. Answer these questions and I will pretty much just hire you. I. AM. SUCH. A. PUSHOVER!


Love,


Undr

PS Benefits and Wages: All the White-out you want* and a 100,000 a Year#. Love ya, mean it!




*Limited to one White out per family. So make it last.
# Mexican Pesos, that is. Which is roughly 2 bucks. Which in canada is 10 cents.

7 Comments:

At 8:25 AM, December 22, 2005, Blogger cherish said...

1. Tell me about yourself? I am a huge fan of Undr's corner.

2. Why should we hire you? Because I am an excellent worker.

3. Why do you want to work here?
Refer to number 1

4. What are your weaknesses?:
I have no weaknesses

5. What did you dislike about your last job? J A N I C E

6. Where do you see yourself in five years?
Bottom Bunk
7. What outfits will you prance around in?(Very important question.) Absolutely anything Undr wants!
naughty nurse
dominatrix
maid
ect...
8. Will you show undying devotion to Undr? (No is usually the answer here. I understand) Yes I will because refer to number 1

 
At 9:46 AM, December 22, 2005, Blogger Terri said...

1. Tell me about yourself?
I'm perfect apart from the occasional lapse into insanity.

2. Why should we hire you?
Cos I can shoot straighter than the egg-hurlers.

3. Why do you want to work here?
I have a thing for gay dogs.

4. What are your weaknesses?
None - I told you, I'm perfect.

5. What did you dislike about your last job?
Uh... the whole 'work' thing...?

6. Where do you see yourself in five years?
Ask me in 4 years, 364 days. I don't plan anything that far in advance.

7. What outfits will you prance around in?(Very important question.)
I always wanted to try the Catwoman outfit...

8. Will you show undying devotion to Undr? (No is usually the answer here. I understand)
Without question. I am more loyal than a dog.

Hey Undr, just in case I don't get a chance between now & Sunday, Merry Christmas!!!!

 
At 10:13 AM, December 22, 2005, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Interview?? wait I am not ready! My hair is frizzed, I get all nervous and sweaty. Ok I guess you will have to interview me like I am. :)

1. Tell me about yourself? I am a fast learner. I do as I am told. The doc. said the voices in my head will eventually go away.

2. Why should we hire you? I have many admirable qualties. I could send you a pic of two of them. ;)

3. Why do you want to work here? I could stop stalking Undr's blog cause I would already be here.

4. What are your weaknesses?:none

5. What did you dislike about your last job? the whole attitude that I had to work

6. Where do you see yourself in five years? on the bottom bunk giving my undying devotion to Undrini

7. What outfits will you prance around in?(Very important question.) anything you want or nothing at all, I have the cutest cheer leader outfit, elf costume, glow in the dark thongs

8. Will you show undying devotion to Undr? (No is usually the answer here. I understand)YES YES!! Undr is the greatest! I would tell him that every morning on my knees while serving him a ham and cheese sandwich surprise.

 
At 11:18 AM, December 22, 2005, Blogger Gareth said...

1. Tell me about yourself?
I'm 6 feet tall by day and 3 feet short by night (I have four feet but 3 always go missing) when I'm a leprechaun

2. Why should we hire you?
I am reliable, efficient and have gotten my body odour under control now.

3. Why do you want to work here?
Because no where else will have me! And I heard that the minumum wage was $20 per hour :)

4. What are your weaknesses?:
Well my right shoulder is a little weak so as long as I am not required to lift or carry anything I'll be ok. My left leg is a little bent out of shape also but I won't be asked to kick anything anyway, except for someone's ass if he gets in my way. I have 20/20 vision when I'm standing 2mms from your nose and my farting problem is much better now.

5. What did you dislike about your last job?
Well I hated the fact that they fired me. It was NOT my fault when my boss's goldfish died when I feed it after forgetting that I had already fed it. I was under alot of stress dammit!

6. Where do you see yourself in five years?
Hopefully still in a mirror.

7. What outfits will you prance around in?(Very important question.)
Oh my usual of course ... green outfit, green hat complete with feather, green pointed shoes and a lucky clover emblaisened on my hinnie.

8. Will you show undying devotion to Undr? (No is usually the answer here. I understand)
Oh but of course master. Would you like one spank or two?!

 
At 1:09 PM, December 22, 2005, Blogger notjoecheese said...

I would like to thank you for my time at Undr Enterprises. The severance package I received was more than generous, (two million UndrBucks!) and the use of the lower bunk until the end of the week was very kind. To my replacement I must stress the importance of learning Spanish; Undr has many dealings with some very important men from Columbia. Finally, if anyone else needs an assistant I would gladly take the job. My rates are reasonable, I look fabulous in a skirt, and I now have experience dealing with gay dogs. (They are very concerned with grooming.)

 
At 1:51 PM, December 22, 2005, Blogger SuperSpyGal said...

1. Tell me about yourself?
~I have most of my teeth, I'm well groomed and I have table manners

2. Why should we hire you?
~WE??..who is WE??.....I thought it was just YOU...what kind of freaky job is this?

3. Why do you want to work here?
~ummm...curiosity

4. What are your weaknesses?:
~Krytonite

5. What did you dislike about your last job?
~The vinyl and spandex they made me prance around in

6. Where do you see yourself in five years?
~On the outside, looking in..

7. What outfits will you prance around in?(Very important question.)
~Vinyl and spandex

8. Will you show undying devotion to Undr? (No is usually the answer here. I understand)
~I'm as devoted as a gay dog

 
At 4:02 PM, December 22, 2005, Blogger anika said...

1. Tell me about yourself?
- about yourself. There. AHAHAHAHA wow I'm funny. Almost too much.

2. Why should we hire you?
- because if you don't I will steal the bricks from your house one by one.

3. Why do you want to work here?
- I don't intend on working. I just wanna get paid.

4. What are your weaknesses?:
- my abdominal muscles are weak (once again with the funny)

5. What did you dislike about your last job?
- whenever I sobbed uncontrollably they made me go home.

6. Where do you see yourself in five years?
- wherever you are, Undr. That's where I'll be

7. What outfits will you prance around in?
- I like to prance around like an idiot. The outfit has to have sequins though.

8. Will you show undying devotion to Undr?
- if he buys me chocolate, yes.

 

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