Thursday, December 29, 2005

New Hires and a Tag. Oh yeah, I'm a multi-tasking machine!

Dear Undies,

I hope all is well in your neighborhood. Please remember to feed the bums. My Boxing day wasn't so great. I got knocked out in the first round. Darn that Hobo! She was stronger than she let on.

Umm ok here are some New Hires, not mentioned in the "You're Hired" Post:

grody jo-dee will be the Resident Stylist. Don't Worry about the kids. This organization has an excellent daycare facility. They will be making 300 trinkets an hour with their small nimble hands. No, it is not a sweatshop. It's a Day.Care.Facility!

Shari will be the Underachiever's Corner Supervisor of Sitting and Looking Pretty Affairs.

Jen-nae and Missuzj will be the Education Czars. Cuz I neet to lurn.

Lizzie will be in charge of Squirrel Removal. If she does a good job she will be promoted to Raccoon Eliminator. Damn there little human hands!

No-L will be the Presidential Candidate I will be endorsing in 2008. But in the mean time she could be the Official Museum Curator of the New York Yankees Exhibit down in the Main Lobby.

By the way, SuperSpyGirl and Shannonica, don't worry, I'm not cruel. The spandex and vinyl suits will be totally breathable. It will have a lot of strategically placed air-holes! (I smell a lawsuit. Eeeek!)

Also, it has been brung to my attention that my Vice President Lepre-genghis-khan, Gareth, is planning a violent coup d'etat. Apparently, he hasn't met my BodyGuard Dewey. Whose motto is: "I will break you, maul you, kill you, revive you and then kill you again". Not to mention Terri "I gotta Gun and I ain't afraid to put a cap in your leprechaunish hiney" Terriola and Anika An-ninja who will throw sequins in your eyes and self-defense you to your purple.

Therefore, To my loyal employees; don't worry! I have been collecting dirt on Gareth for years just in case. Thus, if he plans anything funny I will post some compromising pictures of him on this blog. Don't get me wrong, I really don't want to do him like that. But if he wants to play rough, it's ON!

And to show you, that I'm not playing around, the pictures involve Gareth, a drunken gnome, whips, whip cream and a donkey. So Gareth be nice or you're going down. As far as anyone who was planning to join his revolution: I am WATCHING you.

Ahem I apologize...

Now unto more entertaining stuff...

...I was just minding my own business and WHAM! Gunngirl tagged my lily-white behind. So here are the answers to my tag.

Name: Undr A. Chiever Jr. III

Childhood ambition: To be a writer and a Solid Gold Dancer! Soul-Train Dancer wouldve been just as good too.

Fondest childhood memory: Eating cereal in front of the TV on Saturday Mornings with my sister. Also, Falling in love in the first grade to that cute little blonde number. She was foine!

Last thing I bought was: meat from the back of a truck. Wow, that is where I got my speakers too. Talk about conveeenience!

Favorite movie(s): Indiana Jones trilogy, Star Wars, Sabrina, King Kong, Hitch, Spiderman 1 and 2, Bob the Builder 2 The Revenge. "This time the Teletubbies will Pay!"

I wanna be reincarnated into this animal: a single-cell amoeba. They're asexual. Maybe then I'll get some. Oh whoamIkidding. I wouldn't give me some either!

My best Christmas present was: a G.I. Bob. yeah, I got a generic G.I. Joe. Actually, When I was little I got the first Nintendo game system. That was pretty rad!

All I want for Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa or Secretary's Day is: Happiness for all my friends... oooh oooh and a loofah. I love me a sandpaperish loofah!

My headstone will read: Here lies Undr. All in all, I wish this was you. Love ya mean it!

Well, here goes. Now who should I tag? Hmm. You're all tagged. Booyah! I did a massive tag! In your face!



PS Do this or not. Love ya, mean it! Thanks Gunnicula!

PPS Man-Skirts for everyone!


At 2:43 AM, December 29, 2005, Blogger gunngirl said...

Undr, get off the computer! I think we posted at around the same time. Freaky!

Love the new hires.

And not only do I love our headstone reading, but I think we can actually sit and watch the same movies. *gasp!* except for teletubies of course.

Oh, and one of my fav. memories also involves Saturday Morning Cartoons, as you may recall. Ahhh, those were the days!

At 8:03 AM, December 29, 2005, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

I love Indian Jones movies. I was the only one in my family who liked Hitch. You want a loofah?? Ok Undi I will get you the most sandpaperish loofah money can buy! I will over night next day express see it in 2 months delivery. Oh wait that is just my mail. LOL You will have yours by the time you read this. :)
I will do the tag thingee on my blog :)

At 8:28 AM, December 29, 2005, Blogger Terri said...

Well I am back from my holiday now and omigosh it looks like just in time... First order of business: capping leprachaun hiney... Lookout Gareth! Dewey, you wanna do the holding down or the capping?

At 9:02 AM, December 29, 2005, Blogger Gareth said...

Ok I would like to officially state that I, Leprechaun Gareth of the Lepre Tribe of Lower Wooded Falls do fall back into line as VP of this awesome multi-national company and will instead offer to Mr Undr an honourary position as a Leprechaun spreading the Lepre word in Northeast Georgia.
Hoping that this has clarified my position within the company :)

At 12:07 PM, December 29, 2005, Blogger Shannon said...

Ummmm yeah what Gareth said... lol

As for meeeeee I am so grateful that you allowed us some ummmm "holes" in our spandex suits.. I am just curious as to where these "holes" were placed.. things that make you go hmmmmm.... But all things considered, I appreciate your concern in this matter... you know my slogan "Never let em see you sweat".. yes it's my slogan!! =)

At 12:11 PM, December 29, 2005, Blogger Shannon said...

P.S. Stop droppng your pens...the bending over constantly is causing friction in certain places!! How good is the medical insurance here? Hmmmm...

At 5:11 PM, December 29, 2005, Blogger Tanya Kristine said...

my favorite gift was a barbie head doll with makeup. you remember? the big ones? and my cruel mother hid it behind the tree like the Red Rider BB gun but i wasn't so gracious when i thougth i didn't get that gift...i creid like the asshole i can be.

THEN she pulls it out.

evil woman.

At 6:18 PM, December 29, 2005, Blogger notjoecheese said...

GI Bob, eh? I'm also in the generic toy club, having received many crappy and probably cheaper Go-Bots, instead of the far cooler Transformers. If you want, you can start calling me GI around the office; after 25 years I'm pretty immune to it.

At 6:33 PM, December 29, 2005, Blogger Shari said...

Look at me! Do I look pretty? How pretty am I?

I really want to do well in my annual job performance review.

At 9:18 PM, December 29, 2005, Blogger SuperSpyGal said...

Thank you for the proper work environment...I'm not sure if those airholes are supposed to be in these spots but who am I to question...I'm just here to do my job and NOT ask questions.

BTW the Teletubbies movie rocked but I'm partial to the Teletubbies vs. the Wiggles - The ultimate Showdown...all those colors blending, it was like PBS on LSD !

At 8:48 AM, December 30, 2005, Blogger Liz said...

*in an Elmer Fudd voice*...

Be quiet, be verwy quiet...I'm huntin' squirrel.

Yes sir, Mr Undr, sir...I accept my job responsibilities as directed. I will perform them to the best of my abilities for the rest of my days as squirrel remover!

Have a wonderful new year...if you see me out in the woods huntin' squirrel, please be sure I am not frozen to the log I am sitting on!

(Tagged stuff will be on the blog...have fun!)


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