Thursday, December 08, 2005

Southern Horoscope. It's like Ms Cleo with a southern drawl.

Dear Undies:

Yee haw! Someone sent me this in an email. It's a southern Horoscopish thingy. What is your sign?


Us Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people
that read them. If you are to ever fully understand all the star signs
and the people they represent, we need symbols that all true
Southerners understand:

OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20) Are tough on the outside but tender on the
inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back
over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. You can
do something good each day if you try.

CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A
Chitlin, however, will make something of himself if he is motivated
and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful, they
may surprise you. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with
Catfish and Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 -! March 20) You have an overwhelming curiosity.
You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need
to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are
very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. You love to
stay busy and tend to work too much. Nobody in their right mind is going
to marry you, so don't worry about it.

MOON PIE (March 21 - April 20) You're the type that spends a lot of
time on the front porch. A cinch to recognize the physical appearance of
Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry
anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be
easy. You always have a big smile and are happy. This might be the
year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.

POSSUM (April 21 - May 21) When confronted with life's difficulties,
possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a
don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. S! ometimes you become so withdrawn,
people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not
psychologically healthy but seems to work for you! You are a rare
breed. Most folks love to watch you work and play. You're a night person
and mind your own business.

CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21) Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in
an office, you're hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the
beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, and the bathtub
to the living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive
physically, but you have very, very good heads.

COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23) Collards have a genius for communication.
They love to get in the melting pot of life and share their essence
with the essence of those around them. Collards make good social
workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life
goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Crawfish. It just! won't work.
Save yourself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23) Catfish are traditionalists in matters of
the heart, although one's whiskers may cause problems for loved ones.
You Catfish are never easy people to understand. You run fast. You work
and play hard. Even though you prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear
surface of life, you are liked by most. Above all else, Catfish should
stay away from Moon Pies.

GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23) Your highest aim is to be with others like
yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other
Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about
joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese, gravy,
bacon, butter, or eggs and a good time. If you can go somewhere where
they have all these things, that serves you well. You are pure in heart.

BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23) You have a passionate desire to
h! elp your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best, your
friends and loved ones, may find that your personality is much too salty, and
their criticism will affect you deeply because you are really much
softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody
you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the
road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop
for you.

BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22) Always invite a Butter Bean to a party
because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter
Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life, and you feel
at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody.
However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21) You have a tendency to develop a tough
exterior, but you are actually quite gentle and kind inside. A good
evening for you? Old frie! nds, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms, and
insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's
fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today.
You're almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You
probably want to marry another Armadillo, but a Possum is another
somewhat kinky mating possibilities

umm I live in the south and I don't even understand some of this stuff. So just play along. This post will go away shortly. By the way, I am a Collard. Which is a green, which is still my new favorite color!



PS Thanks for your comments. Love ya mean it!


At 4:40 AM, December 08, 2005, Blogger Shannon said...

I am a butter bean!!! Anyone having a party?!

At 7:46 AM, December 08, 2005, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

I am boiled peanut!!! :)

At 9:16 AM, December 08, 2005, Blogger SuperSpyGal said...

I am a boiled peanut !!

I feel sorry for any Moon Pies out there...ouch, that was harsh !!

At 10:26 AM, December 08, 2005, Blogger grody jo-dee said...

what does it mean that my sign is butter beans, the bean that i detest most in life?? i am, however, not southern. and proud of it.

At 11:28 AM, December 08, 2005, Blogger dewey said...

I'm a chitlin. It's pretty accurate. Especially the part where it tells you to watch out when dealing with us!

At 12:12 PM, December 08, 2005, Blogger Sadie Lou said...

CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21) Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in
an office, you're hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the
beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, and the bathtub
to the living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive
physically, but you have very, very good heads.

That's me except how funny that on another blog I was an Ash Tree which said I am physically attractive. Just goes to show these things are about as accurate as crosseyed archery.

At 12:38 PM, December 08, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yee Haw...I'm Grits!

I'm going to have to work on making myself much yummier ;P

At 1:01 PM, December 08, 2005, Blogger Gareth said...

Dude I'm getting concerned for your health now! Have you stopped taking your meds :-P

I am an armadillo. We don't have possums around here so I guess I am in trouble now with the whole 'finding love' concept. Oh well at least I have my little leprechaun friends to see me through any bad days. Pass the meds!

At 1:20 PM, December 08, 2005, Blogger Terri said...

I'm an okra. Kind of fitting really - Google tells me it's a vegetable that originated in Africa.
Just like me.
The horoscope says: tough on the outside but tender on the inside.
Yep, just like me.

At 3:16 PM, December 08, 2005, Blogger rev. billy bob gisher ©2005 said...

my sign is yield.

At 3:35 PM, December 08, 2005, Blogger gunngirl said...

I can't believe I'm a Armadillo. I could also be Grits. Oh well.

At 5:42 PM, December 08, 2005, Blogger Shari said...

I'm a crawfish....

At 6:39 PM, December 08, 2005, Blogger notjoecheese said...

I'm just a chitlin lookin for a catfish, I reckon. (Or an okra, but I'm not sure what that is.)

At 9:44 PM, December 08, 2005, Blogger cherish said...


At 1:34 AM, December 09, 2005, Blogger Ben O. said...

Yes! I'm a Crawfish or as we used to call 'em . . . Crawdad.

At least one part is right - I do like the water.

Ben O.

At 1:43 PM, December 11, 2005, Blogger Clumsy ;) said...

I'm BOLL WEEVIL. No-one is going to marry me?! =(((


Post a Comment

<< Home

Free Hit Counters
Free Hit Counter Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.