Saturday, December 24, 2005

WHWLTW? Holiday edition.


Dear Undies:

What in Tarnation? Is it time for another WHWLTW? Yup! Time flies when you're up poopie creek with no paddle. For those of you who don't know what WHWLTW? is or you have the attention span of a gnat, it stands for What Have We Learned This Week?

How does it work? Well, gnat person, it's quite simple. I tell you what I learned and if you are so kind, you tell me what you learned this past week.

This is the piece of knowledge lodge in my medulla oblongata:


1. I learned this week that toilet paper can be used for clothing and not just as a butt wiping mechanism. Look at this.


2. That my family is probably the reason that by 35 I'll have a peptic ulcer the size of India with the nerves of an 75 year-old chain smoking, pill popping, gin in my first cup of coffee drinking, air traffic controller.




3. The true Story of Rick the Fly Raviloli monster. You see rick was doomed to extinction by the evil Chef Boyardee, who apparently isn't really a chef. Just a fat guy who runs the streets of Italy in a chef's hat. Anyways, Rick the Ravioli escaped the tyranny of the Chef became a monster and acquired the ability to fly. And so that is why on Dec. 25 we hold our Chef Boyardee Ravioli Cans in our left hands and say "Happy Flying Ravioli MonsterDay!" This story was confirmed by an eye witness Meaty the Meatball, who later started Meatmas.(Hi Ashley! Borschenhopper!) Here is a sample of a Meatmas song:

We wish you a merry Meatmas
We wish you a merry Meatmas
We wish you a merry Meatmas
and a happy blue cheese.


4. That New York Transit Workers were on Strike. Increasing the need for Cosmic Teletransporters. I'm on it! (I just need the strike to last a few days. Let me check the news... um.. nevermind)


5. That during an ice storm you can clean your whole body with baby wipes. Of course, um, I didn't need too, because I had running water. But it was comforting to know that in the event that I had no water, Baby Wipes were there. (No, I don't have kids, somebody in 1982 left some baby wipes at my house and everywhere I go, I take them. Yeah, there a Leeeeeeeettle dry.)


6. That it's wrong to say a normal festive greeting. Hey if I wanna say "Have a happy Flying Ravioli Monster day", I will! The Pilgrims didn't give their lives in the Civil War so some namby pamby anti-greeting coalition could suppress my...um excuse me, phone.


...umm yeah that was National Security. So have a nice Sunday!


7. That I truly appreciate all my bloggity blog friends. You guys are swell. Thanks for reading this crap and making it better with your comments. I lub you all. Yeah, even you Gareth.


Well, these are the lessons o' the week. Let me know what you learned. If not make it up!



By the way, I know most of you are going to have a hangover until about May, so I will prepare you for next week's assignment. WHWLTW? will be WHWLTY? That's What Have We Learned This Year? So put your thinking caps on. NOOO not Drinking Caps I said Thinking! Thinking! Oh you guys!


Love,



Undr




Quote of the Week:

[X is for x-rays you've had:]

Arm, wrist, shoulder, foot, leg, knee, hand, finger, buttocks...oh wait, that was a Xerox! Credit Supery Spy-y Girly.
She's the Funniest thing since that Webster Episode when Webster was Short!

12 Comments:

At 11:30 AM, December 24, 2005, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

I learnt this week that Shawnna is going to have puppies!
Merry Christmas Undrini Und!!
Christmas hugs and kisses Lindy-Lin

 
At 11:49 AM, December 24, 2005, Blogger gunngirl said...

Aww puppies! Too cute! I learned that holidays are stressful, depressing, and fun all at the same time.

That's all I can think of right now. Merry Christmas Undr.

 
At 2:49 PM, December 24, 2005, Blogger notjoecheese said...

I learnt that my roommate cannot distinguish between highway 7 and highway 7a, despite his assurances that "hey, relax, I know where we're going." Clod.
Anyway, Merry Christmas UndrClaus.

 
At 9:54 PM, December 25, 2005, Blogger cherish said...

I learned that you can give your preteen a gift that will touch his soul and not cost a fortune.

I also learned that having family dinner at my house two days in a row has my fingers wrinkled because I have never washed so many dishes in my life and my dishwasher has been running as well nonstop.

I learned there is nothing like getting together and visiting with family!

Hugggss Undrooo you sexy devil you
cherishy

 
At 10:06 PM, December 26, 2005, Blogger Tina said...

Nice blog :) I learned that if you move the furniture and clean under there that you can find enough cat hair to make another cat.

I learned that you can eat more holiday food while wearing sweatpants.

And I learned that I can go for days on 3 hours of sleep each night.

I'll get back to you in a few days to tell you what I have learned about drinking...

hehe

 
At 7:55 AM, December 27, 2005, Blogger rev. billy bob gisher ©2005 said...

i learned that if you start the car and hear a cat yowling, don't open the hood.

 
At 11:02 AM, December 27, 2005, Blogger SuperSpyGal said...

I've learned that while Xeroxing my buttocks, it's probably best NOT to collate...

I've learned that when a box says "open this end up", there is a reason for it...

HAPPY NEW YEAR, UNDR !!!

 
At 12:30 PM, December 27, 2005, Blogger Gareth said...

I have learnt that jumper and homely have different meanings in america *wink wink Spygal* lol.
I have also learnt that being 30 something isn't that bad. I have loads of experience with it now hahahaha :-P
Happy New Year Undr!

 
At 1:49 PM, December 27, 2005, Blogger Shannon said...

I have learned that mixing coconut rum and goldshagher shots along with a meatball sandwich makes for quite a mess... *belch* HAPPY NEW YEAR UNDERO!!

 
At 8:34 PM, December 27, 2005, Blogger Ashley said...

I've learned a lot this week...Prepare yourself:
1: I learned that the elderly don't worry so much about dying, but they worry about what they will be missing, such as watching their children grow.
2. I learned that pre-cooked bacon can last a long time on a Christmas tree (yes, it's still there).
3. I learned that Van Wilder is one of the funniest movies ever.
4. I learned you can't expect anything from anyone or you will always be disappointed. Expect nothing, and you'll always be pleasantly surprised. (sad but true).
5. I learned that I'm stressed out, even though I love my job.
6. I learned that valium works wonders for stress.
7. I learned that valium mixed with champagne is a cure for anything.
8. I learned that G.H. Mumm & Company makes Champagne infused dressing.
9. I learned that my boss is in love with me. (still trying to figure that one out).
10. And finally...I learned that shaving your legs while drunk is never a good idea.
I'm done.
Nub,
Ash

 
At 10:11 PM, December 27, 2005, Blogger Stellastoria said...

IIII learned that I have the best family in the world. Seriously. Don't even try to tell me your family is better cuz they are NOT. hehehe

I learned that it takes 1.75 hours to walk from my apartment to work (thank you, transit strike!)

Additionally-- I am also the proud owner of a gay male chihuahua. I think he might be interested in meeting Brownie. What say, guys?

 
At 3:09 PM, December 28, 2005, Blogger ramblin' girl said...

I learned that the universe has a way of making sure you don't get the idea you might be incharge...

 

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