Saturday, December 03, 2005

WHWLTW? The learning never stops, just like the horrible itching.

Dear Undies,

Another weekend is upon us and two questions come to mind; What Have We Learned this week? and, Are you my mommy?

That's right, goofy goobers, it's time for the world famous but locally owned, WHWLTW?

It has become a tradition here at the Underachiever's Corner Bar and Adult Bookstore.

Sure, it isn't anything like the UN but then again, what is?

The way it works is easy. I tell you what I learned and then you tell me. Any simpler, we'd have to draw pictures.

Anyways, here is what I learned this week:

1. That when you have a bad day, you really have a bad day. (I stepped in two, count them, two steaming piles of dog love in one day. Yup, the same day that it rained and I forgot my favorite green raincoat. I was hating life.)

2. That when you're basting a turkey, it is not appropriate to say; "I AM A MASTER BASTER, it just doesn't sound right. Next week, I'll be baiting a hook. (think about it)

3. That I am adorable. I had no idea. Thanks Cardboard Cut-out Dewey!

4. I was a runner up in Youssef, Not Queso's Brag-a-thon, which is an honor, a privilege, and for that moment I knew I was special. Just like the Special Olympics! Thanks Josephus!

5. A bidet is not a water fountain. Who knew?

6. And That my dog is gay. Yes, my friends dog Brownie McBrowniepapadapolous-Sanchez is a "Gay Homosexual"!

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against homosexuality in animals. Hey, I love Gerbils as much as the next guy. Not to mention Sponge Bob Squarepants. But, it was the way I found out that bothers me. I got home after a long day at work, only to find, Brownie humping my visiting sister's male dog. Now, I'm sure they didn't actually consummate the relationship but the fact that Brownie was riding Toughy(gayest dog name if I ever heard one) like a 25 cent drugstore horsey is really troubling. I should have seen the signs. Brownie loves to watch Bravo. He loves his show tunes and he want's to be in the Off Broadway Production of Brokeback Mountain. Not to mention his "I heart Richard Simmons" Poster. How could I have been so blind!?


Well this is what I learned this week. What about you? Let me know, if not make it up.


Love,

Undr


PS Have a good weekend. Stay Warm, Stay Cool, Stay in School! Love ya, mean it!


Quote of the Week: "and now I have to sit with people I don't know, including two guys who are hungrily eyeing the women in the room like low-hanging fruit." Credit Dewey!

Quote of the Week Runner up! "Ahhhhh it's just not Christmas until you've been dry humped by a blow up Santa on your neighbors front lawn.... " Credit Super Spy Gal!

Leprechaun post of the Week: This one. Credit Gareth.

11 Comments:

At 7:35 AM, December 03, 2005, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

I learned this week that aluminium foil makes a great paper airplane well that would be a foil plane then wouldnt it. :) I also learned that my goldfish is a pig. I just bought him food and he had to have some again. I wonder why he is getting huge LOL :)

p.s.
My dog Patches was gay. She was always trying well she did several times climb up on Shawnna and hump her.

mucho luvo, Lindy-Lin

 
At 10:09 AM, December 03, 2005, Blogger Gareth said...

Woot I figgin won something at last!!! What do I win huh huh??? I accept all major credit cards and a life long membership subscription to Disneyland :-P

I learnt this week that when I am jogging to breathe through my nose and out through my mouth which feels weird to do but I'll get the hang of it some time (I think).

 
At 12:32 PM, December 03, 2005, Blogger SuperSpyGal said...

Awwww..shucks, this award (I'm assuming I get a trophy or a plaque) makes up for the violation I endured from Santa!

I learned that if you jog behind Gareth you'll get snot and spit all over you !...

P.S. Sorry about your gay dog, but at least he was "giver" and not the "receiver" !
Have a good weekend !

 
At 12:38 PM, December 03, 2005, Blogger Terri said...

I learned that it is just plain naive to think that there is such a thing as "just popping in to the shopping centre quickly for a bag of groceries" at the end of the month 3 weeks before Christmas.
Jingle Bells, anyone?

 
At 10:55 AM, December 04, 2005, Blogger Friends of McDougal said...

This week I learned that, even though it is technically possible to raise the dead, it really isn't a good idea. They won't do your bidding, if that's what you are thinking. The dead are like cats in that respect. They don't like to travel at all, so they just kind of hang around my house. The smell is terrible. The dead ooze fluids constantly. Did you know that? I'm afraid the sofa is a total loss...

 
At 12:28 PM, December 04, 2005, Blogger Shannon said...

I haven't learned much...Hmmmm..But I will give it a whirl...

I learned that ONE HOUR PHOTO is never really ONE HOUR! Liars!

Hope that is good enough, teeehee

P.S.Sorry about the doggie-do, I will send someone out to clean it up ASAP!

 
At 12:58 PM, December 04, 2005, Blogger notjoecheese said...

I learned that I am going to Europe with the kicker of ships. I also learned that December is not a good time to start saving money. Maybe I should give out old newspapers and beer cans. "Don't cry, they're as good as money!"

 
At 4:30 PM, December 04, 2005, Blogger cherish said...

I learned change is not always so good!!

 
At 7:29 PM, December 04, 2005, Blogger gunngirl said...

I didn't learn anything this week, but I wanted to post.

Hi, Undr! *waves*

 
At 3:21 PM, December 05, 2005, Blogger rev. billy bob gisher ©2005 said...

"6. And That my dog is gay. Yes, my friends dog Brownie McBrowniepapadapolous-Sanchez is a "Gay Homosexual"!"

i have a transgendered turtle. now try that one out.

 
At 6:07 PM, December 07, 2005, Blogger Shari said...

Hi superspygal. I think the technical term is "pitcher" and "catcher" not "giver" and "receiver".

:)

 

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