Saturday, December 31, 2005

WHWLTY?

Editors notes: Before I start this thang, I'd like to profusely apologize for not mentioning Ben O.'s job. Ben O. will be in charge of the tofu hot-dog cart outside the Underachiever's Corner Building. (A.K.A. Rundown Rat-infested Shack) Other Responsibilities include Vice President In Charge of Skiing. Manager of the Microwave with the broken door. (He get's to wear a lead suit. No fair!) And of course, he will continue his Feedback Friday/Saturday/Whatever day he damn well pleases. Which is now owned by Undr Corp.

Again, Benny-Ben, my apologies. Now give me two Tofu Hot Dogs and a Wheat Germ Soda! Pronto! Read this guy's blog. He is funny! That's a order!

Now back to my regularly scheduled garbage:

Dear Undies,

2005 is in the crapper. However, we must learn from our past, so we can pretty much screw up the future. So what does this have to do with the price of crack in Chinatown? You got me. Anyways, this week we will do What Have We Learned This Year? It's just like QVC but we don't have the Tae-bo on Ice DVD.

So how, praytell, does this contraption work? Well, I'm glad you asked you curious little monkey. I tell you what I learned this year and you tell me what you learned. Are we on the same page? Good! Gold Star, for you!


Here is what I learned this year.

1. Men Suck. Duh!

2. Wearing Sandals and Socks is a cardinal sin! Punished by years of torment in the white-hot bowels of hell or in Hoboken NJ. Same diff'!

3. Dancing in a Wal-mart Dressing room is wrong

4 Pearls before swine is one of my favoritest comics of all time.

5. That Hurricanes suck construction worker butt!

6. There was no severed finger in that Wendy's Chili although it interestingly still tastes like it.

7. War, huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!

8. Dewey is going to Egypt next year. I am so happy. Now, I know what you're thinking. Don't worry, I already told her that it's mandatory to "Walk Like an Egypt-i-an" everywhere she goes. Bangles rule! What are they, like 90?


9. No matter how many letters I write to the CEO, Home Depot will never have lingerie department, ever. Oh you laugh now, but just you wait and see whose laughing when I introduce my new inventions next year. It's the Garter Tool Belt and the Measuring Tape WonderBra with matching Bungee Cord Thong.

10. That Adriana Lima is like the girl next door. If the girl next door was a hot Victoria's Secret Brazilian Supermodel who could probably cure disease with her beautiful eyes. ( By the way, Leesa , when Adriana Lima is not working as a supermodel for Vicky's Secrets she is a goat herder's assistant. You know, to make ends meet.)

11. Coldplay is an awesome band.

12. I hate end of the year lists.

13. These are my top songs of the Year 05:

1. Fix You -Coldplay.

2. Sometimes you can't make it on your own- U2

3. Mr. Brightside-The Killers(Hot Fuss is a great CD!)

4. Somewhere only we know-Keane

5. We belong Together-Mariah Carey. (Sorry)

6. Feel good inc. -Gorrillaz

7. All these things I have done- The Killers (I got soul but I'm not a soldier!)

8. Run -SnowPatrol

9. You and Me - Lifehouse. (yeah I retired it, but after hearing 2.7 billion times it sorta grows on you)

10. Best of you -Foo Fighters

11. Wake Me Up When September Ends-Green Day

12. Photographs- Nickelback

13. Anything Kelly Clarkson (dammit! I hate to admit this. Estrogen levels...too high! Danger Danger!)

14. Gold digger -Kanye West.

15. Dakota-Stereophonics (I.Love.This.Song!)

16. Glósóli -Sigur Ros. (Both Haunting and beautiful.)

17. Brighter than sunshine-Aqualung

18. Collide -Howie Day

19. Let me go -3 Doors Down

20. Landed-Ben Folds

21. Doesn't remind me-Audioslave

22. Sitting Waiting Wishing-Jack Johnson

I'm sure there's more but I can't remember.



aaand... 14 . I love my Undies. (My readers not my undergarments. Although, they are kinda cute.)



Well, my friends, these are a few of the lessons I learned this year. Did you learn anything this year? Let me know, if not make it up!

Love,


Undr


PS I really want to appreciate you stopping by and reading this so-called blog. Don't forget to check out the linky-links, those folks are really talented. Love ya, mean it!


PPS By the way, my beloved dog brownie, asked to go out, for potty purposes, and I saw 12 deer frolicking around my backyard. They didn't seemed alarmed at all by my presence. I just stood there in awe. It's times like these when you can really appreciate life and all that it has to offer. Of course, that's until I grabbed my shotgun...


Just kidding! Have a good weekend! See ya in '06!

11 Comments:

At 9:53 AM, December 31, 2005, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Here is what I learnt this year.
1-Hurricanes do suck constructions workers butt!!!
2-It is possible to split 2 tires at the same time while driving down the highway. And you can drive the rest way home on one of them split in 3 places.
3-You can get grey hair when your 19 yr. old announces he wants to get married and oh yeah mom she maybe pregnat.
4-Did I mention that mother nature can be a mean cold hearted bitch!!
5-I need to go into rehab from stalking the phone company workers every day. I knew and still know where they are staying and what area they are working at.
6-I can eat a whole bag of Lindt truffles in one night.
7-No matter what I am feeling that I have a good friend that listens and gives me a shoulder to cry on.
8-Wow there is music out there that is not country!!
9-Stand up for myself and listen to what I want to and watch what I want to and to speak my mind finally.
10-I will never be on a top ten best dressed list of the year.

Have a Happy Happy New Year Undroo!! Mucho luvo and huggiezz Lindy-Lin

 
At 11:18 AM, December 31, 2005, Blogger Terri said...

I learned that no matter how hard I try there are people in my life that just won't give up on me.
I learned that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I learned that my favourite place in the world is the Greek Islands.
I learned that there are a whole bunch of really good people in the world and Blogland is a great place to meet them.
I learned that I may be a bit more normal than I thought I was... but sometimes I'm just as nuts as I always believed. But it's okay.

Happy New Year Undr!!!

 
At 11:38 AM, December 31, 2005, Blogger Shannon said...

First of all, your song choices kick azz!! Kelly will rule the universe mark my words, hahahahaha ( that was suppose to be my evil laugh, did it skeer you? I didn't think so) lol..

I learned so much this year...

I learned that fire is bad!!

I learned that life is short so live it drama free!

I learned that shots and Shannon don't mix well =/

I learned that life is what YOU make it.. don't let it make YOU!

I learned to live alittle and not be so serious all of the time!

Have a Happy and safe New Year Undie darling! Can't wait for next years posts from you! Smooches!

 
At 12:54 PM, December 31, 2005, Blogger notjoecheese said...

I learned that while being a hermit is fun, meeting people, if only online, is pretty cool too.

I learned that being an uncle is great. You get all the fun of holding and feeding the baby, without any of the messy cleanup.

I learned that getting back into shape is hard, and will probably kill me.

I learned that there's only so much alien anal probing a guy can take before he has to say, "enough!"

I learned that everyone has advice for you when you say you're planning a trip. I didn't pay $2.99 a minute to hear about hostel etiquette; the magazine ad said nothing about that.

 
At 1:29 PM, December 31, 2005, Blogger cherish said...

I have learned being employed for Undr is the best job in the entire world!

I have enjoyed your blog immensely!!!

Wishing you a wonderful New Year!!

 
At 2:42 PM, December 31, 2005, Blogger Gareth said...

I have learnt that death is too close sometimes (I've learnt that tooooo many times!)
I have learnt that bloggers are pretty damn cool people!
I have learnt that being 30 has it's upsides ... people open the door for you (or is that just because they want you out quicker, hmmmmmmmm)
I have learnt that 2+2 does indeed equal 5, err 6, no that's not it either!
I have learnt that inviting a cockroach into your home is never a good idea.
I have learnt that telepathy does indeed work if you know in advance what it is that you are supposed to have said or done.
I have learnt that black is the new pink (Batty told me that) :-P

Happy New Year Undrrrrrrrrrrr!

 
At 8:54 PM, December 31, 2005, Blogger gunngirl said...

I missed you Undr! I haven't blogged you in a while. *hug*

Now...

I learned hindsight is 20-20
I learned that natural disasters suck and are very frightening
I learned that I really did love Scarlett and it's harder than I thought losing a pet
I learned I really screwed up job and financial wise
I learned there's nothing you can do about things you can't do anything about
I learned that blog friends are just as important and can be just as inspiring and helpful as in-the-flesh friends.
I learned that 2006 may have a brighter outlook for me (crosses fingers)

Happy New Year Undr!

And if I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening and good night.

 
At 1:38 PM, January 01, 2006, Blogger Sadie Lou said...

Great post. I enjoyed reading what you learned. I'm too tired to go through all that I learned--forgive me?
*new year's kiss on the cheek*

 
At 11:13 AM, January 02, 2006, Blogger SuperSpyGal said...

I've learned that Life IS like a box of chocolates, but if you get the box that has the map in it, you ALWAYS know what you're gonna get !!!

 
At 8:08 PM, January 02, 2006, Blogger ramblin' girl said...

Happy New Year, Undr!

I learned way too much to put in your comments. put some in a post on my blog, if you really want to know.

Hope 2006 is great for everyone!

 
At 12:20 PM, January 03, 2006, Blogger Liz said...

Undr...thanks for the laughs in '05...I am ready for more in '06!

ILTY that:
-even though life sucks a$$ in my world...I am still an optimist.
-that my being an optimist pisses my husband off
-I love that my husband (of 7 years) loves me
-you have to play the cards you are dealt in poker and in life
-the crappy housework chores are NEVER done (gotta go fold laundry and wash dishes)
-the Underachievers Corner is a great place to go when I am having a crappy day at work. It always seems to make me laugh...thanks again UNDR! (You are the greatest - oh wait we don't need to say that any more...I keep forgetting.)

Happy 2006 to all! May all our dreams come true!

-LT

 

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