Thursday, January 19, 2006

I steal stuff. I'm Klepty McKlepto

Dear Undies:

Thanks for stopping by. My therapist says I'm doing much better now. Especially, since most of the ink blots she shows me, are no longer reminding me of Jared the subway guy. He is soo dreamy.

Anyways, my Therapist, Dr. Shackalacka Puchini suggested I get in touch with myself by writing about, none other, than me. Therefore I stole a Meme from someone who I can't remember for the life of me. Oh yeah, now I do. Her name rhymes with Adjfmcxviwuersdfjs and she likes to breathe. I'm sure you'll figure it out, Sherlock!

So, here is another Meme, that I done stole.


WHAT IS THE MOST PHYSICAL PAIN YOU HAVE EVER BEEN IN?

The time I got my nose hairs caught in a weed wacker. (It was a dare.)

DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE GUM WITH YOU?

Yeah, Hubba Bubba Grape or as I like to call it "Purple"

ARE YOU GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BI?

Depends...When I'm fighting crime, I'm gay. I should have never registered the name "Flamboyant Boy" in the Superhero Database. Sheesh. But, normally I'm straight.


DO YOU THINK YOU ARE A GOOD KISSER?

Never had any complaints. You know, from my blow-up dolls.

HOW DOES THE WATER IN YOUR AREA TASTE?

Taste great. It has a natural brown tint, though.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU GOT SICK FROM DRINKING?

Cancun, Mexico. I drank too many Shirley Temples. I had no idea the umbrellas were not edible...ugh!

WHAT IS/WAS YOUR FAVORITE SCHOOL LUNCH?

Dude, I love Sloppy Joes. I have never had them outside of a government funded institution. The prison ones were the best.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST FOOD?

Eggs Benedict, a Grand Marnier Souffle, and a Peach Bellini. Eh who am I kidding? Eggos!

WHAT IS THE OLDEST ITEM IN YOUR HOUSE?

I have one of those old-timey irons and a wrinkled blue ruffled tuxedo.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SO DRUNK YOU WET THE BED?

Nope. I have those electro-shock bed sheets. It only takes once. Ouch!

HAVE YOU EVER UNDERGONE SURGERY?

No, but I would like to surgically remove my 7th nipple. It's name is Cheese Nip.

WHEN YOU STUB YOUR TOE OR BUMP YOUR HEAD, WHAT DO YOU USUALLY SAY?

I usually recite the Pledge of Allegiance using tons of cuss words.

DO YOU ENJOY MAKING PEOPLE FEEL STUPID?

Nah, just pain. Intense blinding pain.

WOULD YOU RATHER SKY DIVE OR BUNGEE JUMP?

Neither. I am so afraid of heights.

ARE YOU RACIST?

No way. I hate everybody! Except you, of course.


IF AN ENTIRE STATE IN AMERICA WERE TO VANISH, WHICH DO YOU THINK WOULD NOT LIKELY BE MISSED?

Puerto Rico. It's not a state? Seeeee you ain't missin it, are ya?

HAVE YOU EVER FLUSHED A DECEASED PET DOWN THE TOILET?

A goldfish and a small hamster. I tried Napolean, my Pot belly Pig once but...

WHO ARE BETTER DRIVERS, MEN OR WOMEN?

Women dressed as men dressed as women. huh?

ARE YOU SEXIST?

No. But I do believe women should be in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant. (ha-ha Just kidding. They can wear shoes.*)

DO YOU KNOW YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER OFF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD?

Yup! Well actually my green card number.


DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE SAYING "OFF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD" ORIGINATED?

Yes, it all started with a failed lobotomy...

ERA OYU DYXLESIC?

LLEH ON!

-RIGHT NOW-

LAST KISS:

Lips I drew on the back of my hand for practice.

LAST GOOD CRY:

When I saw Cinderella man.


LAST MOVIE SEEN ON DVD:

umm Cin-duh-rell-ahh maaaan, were you not listening? Sheesh!

LAST CUSS WORD UTTERED:

Mutherfudger!

LAST BEVERAGE DRANK:

Coke or pepsi...same difference.

LAST FOOD CONSUMED:

Homemade burgers. (Actually, it was a peanut butter and Jelly sandwich, but I pretended it was a burger.)

LAST TIME SHOWERED:

I am a bubblebath type of guy.

LAST SHOES WORN:

Buster Browns.

LAST CD PLAYED:

Hot Fuss by the Killers.

LAST ANNOYANCE:

I've been too busy to blogstalk. I.Hate.It!

LAST DISAPPOINTMENT:

Giants got massacred by the Panthers. (Even, if you don't know what I'm talking about, it still sounds cool)

LAST TIME WANTING TO DIE:

I got some lemon juice on a paper cut.

LAST TIME IN LOVE:

Since July 1975

LAST TIME HUGGED:

It wasn't so much a hug, but close to it. You see, I was getting frisked by a policeman named Bubba and...

I LOVE:

You

I HATE:

Me

I FEAR:

A bunch of stuff.

I HOPE:

You know that I appreciate you stopping by and reading this crap. Oh yeah, and for world peace.

I FEEL:

Good ...Nana nana nana na...

I DRIVE:

a silver honda civic

I MISS:

You.


Well that about does it. Are you still here? Oh yeah, the handcuffs... my bad.


Love,

Undr


PS Steal it if you want. Just leave your Driver's License until you return it. Oooooh Nice Picture! love ya, mean it!
*recycled joke for your pleasure.

5 Comments:

At 12:28 AM, January 19, 2006, Blogger Tina said...

Hahaha Cheese Nip! You crack me up! :) Nah, I won't steal this one - whew it was a long one - but I enjoyed reading yours! :)

 
At 7:57 AM, January 19, 2006, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Great list as always Undroo!! I will steal it but I must get my drivers license back it is my favorite mug shot!! You promise to return them right??? No copying them and posting them on the internet as America's Most Wanted Female Turkey Killer! For some strange reason you always have me craving cheese nips and grape bubble gum. I hate grape gum. LOL :)
smooches and huggiezz mucho luvo Lindy-Lin

 
At 9:55 AM, January 19, 2006, Blogger SuperSpyGal said...

LMAO ! I keep coming back to read this !!...you scare me...not in that creepy kind of way, but just in that creepy kind of way... ;)

ahhhhhh you knucklehead !!

 
At 1:40 PM, January 19, 2006, Blogger Shannon said...

Ohhhhh this was sooooooooooooooooo much fun to read!!! I love your personality!! You need your own show!! Thanks for sharing your answers with us.. now pardon me while I lock my door and hide under my bed!! =)

 
At 3:02 PM, January 19, 2006, Blogger gunngirl said...

Ha, ha, some of those were really funny. I think I'll steal it, but I must condense this list. Don't have the patience for it.

Great list though!

 

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