Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Feed me!

Dear Undies:

I hope everyone's weekend was fun and exciting. Or the at the very least less than sucky. Mine was great!

The highlight, of course, was my blogoversary, which I was going to celebrate by playing Strip-Chutes and Ladders in a dark room with no windows while listening to the always happy music of the Cure. And no lonely anniversary party would be complete without crying in the fetal position for 2 hours while sucking on my big toe.

To my surprise, however, lots of people showed up to the party. Of course, most of them just stopped by to either ask for directions to the "Girls Gone Wild North Georgia: Redneck Skank Edition" being taped in my town or to ask, "Who the hell is Unger?" *sigh*

Anyways, the reason I'm writing incoherently is that I'm hungry. As you very well know, I am not very good in the kitchen. The last time I tried to cook, I started the California Brush fires. Sooory!

That's why, I'm asking you, my beloved Undies, to make me something to eat. So, let me know what special gourmet dish you can make while your Blood Alcohol Level is a whopping 4.0 and you wear your favorite grease-stained "Kiss the Cook" apron and multi-colored hairnet.

It could be any kind of food or food-like substance. Like, Semi-cooked Chicken Livers and Frosted Flakes or Hairball Soup Surprise or the very tasty Anchovy-Flavored Custard or if you're Linda anything with Crab in it! Whatever it is, make it quick, cuz I'ma hongree!

So, what are you cooking for Undr?

Let me know. Please hurry! My gay Chihuahua Brownie is starting to look scrumptious...and not just because he's wearing his butt-less chaps and his ten ounce cowboy hat.


Undr(Owner of Brokeback Brownie)

PS Thanks again for showing me some love. Love ya, mean it!


At 3:26 AM, February 28, 2006, Blogger Gareth said...

I would cook for you either nettle or chicken legs soup followed by some wild pink Canadian salmon smothered in chicken poop and for dessert it would be your favourite - cheesecake a la dirt.


At 9:39 AM, February 28, 2006, Blogger boo said...

stir-fry vegetables a la boo

At 9:41 AM, February 28, 2006, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

How about some half baked crab cakes. Also some crab legs that are soo rubbery you can use them as a bouncy ball. Now for the can o crab I will mix it up with some spoiled mayonaise and serve it on moldy crackers.

But if you want some real food. I will cook a pot of my homemade chilli, bake some made from scratch sweet corn bread to go with it. A tall glass of ice cold milk to wash it all down.

I am tryin to stay clear of crab.

At 10:20 AM, February 28, 2006, Blogger cherish said...

I would make you my Italian Grandmother's Cheesecake, mmmnnnn It is so creamy, mild and DELICIOUS! It is always a crowd favorite. When I am invited over to someone's house for dinner, and I ask what I can bring they always respond Nana's cheesecake.

Love you mean it, even though you never visit my blog ~bites ya~,
cherishy ~grins~

At 11:10 AM, February 28, 2006, Blogger Shari said...

Fried Peanut Butter and Jelly Samiches.

And by the way, my friend and I used to refer to the Cure as the "Suicide in the Shower" music.

At 4:34 PM, February 28, 2006, Blogger anika said...

I would cook for you macaroni and cheese!

At 9:45 PM, February 28, 2006, Blogger gunngirl said...

I'm leave the real cooking to HDD.

Buuuut..if I were so inclined to make you a meal I'd go with double fried chicken, garlic mashed potatoes, biscuits and, aw what the hell, corn or brocoli, gotta have a vegetable! (and I'm pretty sure I spelled that wrong. Please ignore) :)

Beadinggal--Mmmm, I want some chili!

At 12:16 AM, March 01, 2006, Blogger samirah said...

I would make you baked three cheese ravioli with basil and olive oil sauce. Because that's the only thing I know how to make.


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