Thursday, February 09, 2006

Poopie days are here again.

Dear Undies,

Today is one of those poopie days. I'm bummed because I didn't win one stinkin' Grammy...again. This will be the 29th year in a row that I am neither nominated or even acknowledged by the Academy or is it by the Hairless Grammy Gnomes' Counsel?
Every year since I was this year old *holds up one finger*(No, not the middle one), I have been remaking the classic playground song, "Diarrhea". I've remade it with an instrumental background, in a Hip Hop/Salsa/Bluegrass style and even accompanied by the famous Boston Fart-like-Armpit-Noise Philharmonic. Notwithstanding, I have yet to receive a nod. Heck, I'd settle for a Payless Shoes 5 dollar Gift Certificate. (Which will buy you at least a baker's dozen of neon green plastic shoes in a size 9 Men's...)

The point is, I want to be recognized by the music industry for my talents as a musician. True, I sing like cats mating in a blender and the only instrument I play is a Sippy Cup with hole. But, I feel that my various interpretations of this classic song should garner me some kind of Achievement Award or at the very least a Gold Star Sticker on my forehead.

So, for those of you who have never heard this song, or have somehow blocked it out from the deepest darkest corner of your mind, here is an excerpt of "Diarrhea"--The Song:

"When you're climbing up a ladder
and you feel something splatter
Diarrhea, Diarrhea.

It's not very funny
but it's very hot and runny
Diarrhea, Diarrhea"


Oh well whatayagonnado? Actually, I know whatamagonnado! By the power vested in me by the The Queen and Blimpo the Sea Monkey, my imaginary friend, I will allow you to give a Grammy to whomever you want. They don't even have to sing, dance or exist for that matter. Just Give a Grammy to anyone you think should get one. Like, your friends, family, janitor, blogger buddies, prison penpals and members of your peanut butter cup worshipping cult. Anyone! So, go ahead, give a Grammy to someone you love or at least someone you want to get to second base with. And of course please let me know, if not make it up!



PS I appreciate you stopping by and using the restroom. Love ya, mean it!


At 7:19 AM, February 09, 2006, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

I don't see why you didn't get a Grammy for that song. That is just rude. You even threw in a cha cha in the lyrics. So I am giving you a Grammy for your song. :)

Yes it is a real it is not fake don't argue with me. No that is not gold paint flaking off plastic. I was polishing it before I gave it too you geesshh. Give a guy a grammy and he claims it is fake. haahaa! ;)
mucho luvo Lindy-Lin

At 9:21 AM, February 09, 2006, Blogger SuperSpyGal said...

Catagory: Best gross out song

The Diarrhea Song - Undr "Liquid Squirts" Achiever

Are you gonna eat that snot? - The Nasals

Your love is like a skid mark on my drawers - The Itchy Butts

*opening envelope*
And the Grammy goes to........

Undr "Liqid Squirts" Achiever !!!


At 11:11 AM, February 09, 2006, Blogger Shoe Diva said...

I'm sure you would have been better dressed at the Grammys then some of the others.

At 2:18 PM, February 09, 2006, Blogger cherish said...

I have a questions Undr. If you won an achievement award would this still be Underachiever's Corner? I mean if you were acknowledged for being an achiever than wouldnt that put a rip into the cosmos as we know it? Okay I am very confused and alarmed right now. I am off to contemplate this...

At 2:48 PM, February 09, 2006, Blogger Terri said...

Hm, I was quite happy to award you a Grammy until Cherish opened up that particular can of worms... I'll have to get back to you on that one...

At 3:51 PM, February 09, 2006, Blogger Shari said...

You like me!

You really like me!

(open mouth smile....


At 5:21 PM, February 09, 2006, Blogger anika said...

Hm.. I forgot about that song. And now it's in my head ... GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH


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