Wednesday, February 01, 2006

State of the Union Address by Undr A. Chiever.

Dear Undies:

I am the president of the United Provinces and unincorporated Townships of Undroopia. Which really is a ten by ten room in my mom's basement. Shhh! She doesn't know I been livin' here for the last 8 years. Anywhoo, it is a normal custom for me to have a State of the Union Address for my people. (A.K.A. my crew; my peeps; my posse; my pink pony brigade.) This was formally known as the State of my Bunions address, but thank goodness for sandpaper and hammers! Whew!

Therefore lets go now to my basement apartment and listen to the STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESSSSSSSSSSS!(you likey my announcer voice?) Already in progress...


Reporter: *whispering* We are all anxious to hear what President Undr has to say about the state of our union. Undr's administration has been plagued by controversy, lies, and locusts. However, despite these ever-increasing problems our president, my president, always has a smirk on his face. It's quite possible the smirk on his face is related to the fact that he still wears his first grade underwear or the chafing caused by E.U.O.T which in the medical community stands for Excessive Use Of Thongs.

In this reporter's humble opinion, I'd like to say that I think this President is the best one we've had and there is no doubt that his milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Additionally, I finally want to come out of the closet and profess my love for the President because I. Am. Ga..wait! The president is stumbling down the stairs and at this very moment is sitting down on the traditional Doritos and broccoli smelling La-Z-Boy. He checks his armpits to make sure that his B.O. count is at a low and proceeds to speak. Let's listen...


Undr: Ummm.... The state of the Union is...umm eh! I guess we're alright. How you doin'?


Reporter: The crowd goes wild in excitement. Mostly because the people in attendance are either senile or recovering meth addicts on crack. This concludes our Undr's State of the Union Address. We now return to our regularly scheduled program; "When Nuns Attack!" Followed by "Sex Operation Oopsies!"




Love,

Undr

PS Thanks for all your get-well wishes and letting me know what you want in a perfect partner/lover/disco-dancing yak. Love ya, mean it!

PPS: Remember to check out the Linky-links. You know you want to.

7 Comments:

At 6:24 PM, February 01, 2006, Blogger SuperSpyGal said...

Mr. President??...MR. PRESIDENT????


My name is SuperSpy from ICUP News...I'd like to ask you if you're planning on running for a third term or is this it for you?.....Also, how do you feel about the situation over in the Doofnagels basement, will you be considering toilet paper attacks and ring and runs????

 
At 7:04 PM, February 01, 2006, Blogger Tina said...

HAHAHAHA "milkshake brings all the boys to the yard" I almost shot milk outta my nose...you are tooo funny - thank you for your greatness - I bow down to you Mr. President hahaha Undr for Prez!! :)

 
At 2:47 AM, February 02, 2006, Blogger Skvid said...

Awww, I just spotted my little city in your linky links! Now I feel all special. :)

If only more state of the union addresses were like that. To Australians (such as my good self) “thongs” are the shoes that certain other people call flip-flops. I don't think EUOT in that context would make you smirk in quite the same way. Depends what you do with them I suppose…

 
At 9:48 AM, February 02, 2006, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Mr. Undr President sir, wait where is my notepad?, where is it? dumping out my purse searching, my pockets. never mind I had a whole list of questions about racoons, cheese doodles, the color pale fuschia, amish erotic and more but I can't find my note pad. Anyways meet me in the library later and we will discuss these matters ;)
reporter for today Lindy-Lin

 
At 11:18 AM, February 02, 2006, Blogger Shari said...

I have always loved the state of your union, big boy...

 
At 12:03 PM, February 02, 2006, Blogger Liz said...

If only GWB would take lessons from you!

 
At 2:13 PM, February 02, 2006, Blogger Terri said...

You should start a speech-making school Undie, the politicians could learn a thing or two from you!

 

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