Saturday, March 04, 2006

WHWLTW? and WDYLWUWG?

Editor's Note:

Dear Undies:

For the next 2 weeks, I will not be around. No, It's not a hiatus to find my inner child, who by the way owes me money. (Darn you Inner-Undr!) Actually, next week I will be in a Self-Help Seminar. It's the "Stop Whining you Whiney Bastard!" Seminar. It is from the Creators of other great Self help Seminars like "That's Right You Are a Loser!" and "Will You Just Shut the Hell Up and Get out of my Face!"

I will be back to my self-loathing self in no time.

And the following week, I will be taking a quick vacation in the Caribbean. Don't worry I will bring you a "Undr Went to the Caribbean and all he got was this lousy crotch lice" T-Shirt, for everyone of ya.

Anyways, The show must go on!


Love,

Undr

PS: I ain't done yet!




Dear Undies:

Another week has hit us like a ton of bricks in the groin. It is time for WHWLTW? What in the Hellman's mayonnaise is that? Well, I'll tell you. It stands for none other that What Have We Learned This Week? It's a weekly post that I do every week, weekly. It works like this: I tell you what I learned and then you do the same. You got it? Good?

This Week I learned:




1. Biting people in a club is not appropriate. Is nibbling wrong too? How about gnawing?(Thanks Shannon!)

2. There has been a lot of 80's and 90's talk around blogolia this week.
That is why I am going to tell you the things I remember about the 80's and maybe the 90's. (This is particularly difficult because that era is very hazy to me. I mixed Pop Rocks and Coke to many times.)


I remember Romper Room

I remember "The very special "Different Strokes" when Dudley, Arnold's friend is molested by the Maytag Man.

I remember having a crush on Punky Brewster.

I remember Silver Spoons. I wanted to be Ricky Schroeder so bad!

I remember Solid Gold

I remember New Coke

I remember Falling in love w music

I remember The Challenger Tragedy

I remember Trapper Keepers

I remember the Miami Sound Machine. (Come and shake your body baby do that conga!)

I remember Lionel Richie

I remember Genesis,

I remember "My Adidas"


I remember Gremlins

I remember PeeWee's playhouse, (Meka leka hi meka hiney ho!)

ok I'll stop now.


now where was I? Ah yes...I also learned...


3. That I can never ever eat crinkle French fries AGAIN! Let me explain. I was waiting to get my haircut at the local Massacres R' Us Hairstylist. (Note: I have a don't usually go to these places, but my normal Barber was out of town. Darn you Indian Reservation Casinos!)

So, while I was waiting this lady that's sitting next lays her baby boy in the empty chair between us and starts to change her baby's diaper. The lady did say apologetically that she was up next and the restroom was out of order and that she hoped I didn't mind. To which I said, "Get out of here you crazy wacko diaper changing harlot!" but that was on the inside. On the outside, I said; "Oh I don't mind. I salute you for being such an intrepid warrior in favor of diaper changing in public places"(that last part was also on the inside)

During all this time, her other child a little girl, who I'm sure was fathered by Satan or at least on of his minions, like a Enron Executive, is just staring intently at the boy's Christian parts. Then the little spawn of the devil, opens her mouth and she utters words that burned into my cranium. She said "Ewww momma his bing-bing looks like a crinkly French fry. I'm sure the crinkly French Fry industry is gonna use this to promote their product.

There motto will be "Buy Crinkle Fries! Resembling male genitalia since 1904!"


This is what I learned this week how about you? Let me know it not make it up.





Also,

Because of my non-hiatus hiatus, I have invented a new segment here at Da' Corner! It's WDYLWUWG?

Don't try to pronounce it! In Rumanian that means, "I have a Goat's Testicle hair in my Cheese."

In Undranian it means What Did You Learn While Undr Was Gone?

This is how it works. While I'm gone you write in the comments section something you learned while I was gone. The person who comments the most, will receive a prize. A restraining order you stalker! So, while I'm gone, just tell me whatever you like. If not make it up!

Thanks for stopping by and picking up after yourself.

Love,

Undr

PS I will miss every single one of you! Love ya, mean it!


Double PS: To help you while I am gone, I will write up a schedule so you know what to do with yourself without this pitiful blog to waste your time on. Here it goes:

Your Schedule While Undr is Gone

Monday: Read all my old posts and translate them into Ancient Yiddish. (Oyeth Veyeth!) and then cry in the fetal position while screaming "Undr I done miss ya!" at the op of your lungs.

Tuesday: Read all my old posts and find the missing message to the Alien Overlords, when they come for us. And then Continue crying in the fetal position while screaming "Undr!" at the top of you lungs.

Wednesday-Sunday: Pretty much the same as the above. You may want to pee in between your crying episodes. I'm just saying is all!


Have a good couple of Weeks!

31 Comments:

At 10:13 AM, March 04, 2006, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

I learnt you are leaving us for 2 weeks!! no I am not going to cry! I got stuff in my eyes!!

I learnt that your 13 yr old daughter can make your life a living hell for buying honey buns with icing on them.

Will get right to work on the assignment. :)

I will miss ya but you have fun fun fun fun!!! :)
huggiez and smooches, te amo Lindy-Lin

p.s.
Anyone got a Yiddish dictionary?? Terri do you???

 
At 10:19 AM, March 04, 2006, Blogger Lori said...

I learned this week never ever ride your bicycle over flat cardboard boxes, I have the bruises to show why not! Gonna miss you undroo ;( te amo lor n flor.

 
At 1:44 PM, March 04, 2006, Blogger Shannon said...

LOL yes biting someone in a club is a NO NO!!

Well enjoy your vacation (Jealous look).. yeahh leave us in the cold.. see if we care!! (Ok we do).. Have fun and be safe!

 
At 2:49 PM, March 04, 2006, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Shannon how many comments do you think we could rack up on here while he is away?? heeeheee

 
At 6:20 PM, March 04, 2006, Blogger gunngirl said...

That whining seminar sounds like something my sister would have put together.

ROTFL about that different strokes and Solid Gold remark. What about when they go "Solid Gold!" and end in a pose. Oh man, I thought they were rocking out back in the day.

Hurry back, we'll miss you!

 
At 10:19 PM, March 04, 2006, Blogger Lori said...

Is there were you leave a cooment to rack up numbers.

 
At 9:25 AM, March 06, 2006, Blogger SuperSpyGal said...

Geez, I'm reading this post and at the very beginning you said you were going away for awhile, 30 minutes later I'm still reading and wondering, "Well, when the hell is he going already?????"....LOL...just kidding...have a great time with whatever it is that you're up to.
Write us if you need bail !!

 
At 10:03 AM, March 06, 2006, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Undroooo I done miss ya!!! Why? Why? Oh Why did you have to leave???
Ok mushy stuff all gone! I feel better now.
Spy I will pitch on bail $$ if he needs any. I got a couple of pennies.

 
At 2:12 PM, March 06, 2006, Blogger Shari said...

I find it hard to type while in the fetal position, but here goes...


I learned that little girls birthdays rule and their Dads, as a whole, do not.

 
At 3:37 PM, March 06, 2006, Blogger Tina said...

LOL

I learned that my cat spends his days in the toilet.

I learned that I make mistakes...yes, me...ugh.

And now I guess I will have to learn how to go without my Undrfix for over a week....wtf

;)

 
At 3:38 PM, March 06, 2006, Blogger Terri said...

"I remember Silver Spoons. I wanted to be Ricky Schroeder so bad!"
I remember it too - only I just wanted Ricky Schroeder (hmm, I must've started awfully young...)
Moving along.

LOL @ the diaper story!!!

2Weeks is pushing it a bit Undr.

Beads: Sure - my Yiddish dictionary is in the bookshelf right next the Klingon one.

What did I learn this week? That Blog parties can be just as much fun as real ones.
Also, that I probably need to get out more ;-)

Have fun and bring back lots of pics Undr!!

 
At 6:15 PM, March 06, 2006, Blogger Shari said...

I learned that I can't pee because of the dehydration from crying and crying and crying....

 
At 6:44 PM, March 06, 2006, Blogger cherish said...

Gonna miss you bunches Undr mean it!

 
At 11:39 PM, March 06, 2006, Blogger Shannon said...

Hi Undie.. it's been 7 hours and 15 daysssssss.. since you took your love awayyyyyyyyyyyy...

My name is Undie...
I live on the second floor..
I live upstaires from you..
I think you've seen me before..

If you hear something late at night..

Some kind of trouble, some kind of fright..

Just don't ask me what it was, Just don't ASK ME WHAT IT WAS!!

Hehehehe this will teach him to go away Beading! =P

 
At 8:06 AM, March 07, 2006, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

HAAAHAAAA Yes it will Shannon!! :P

How can he leave us this way?? He says he luvs us and means it then boom he is gone gone gone!!

What is that school yard saying??
I see stars
I see mars
I see Undie's underpants!

I can't quite remember it. :P

But do we really want to see Undie's underpants?? heeeheee

 
At 4:22 PM, March 07, 2006, Blogger Shannon said...

IT IS..

I see london..

I see france..

I see Undies, underpants?

I have it memorized.. (Don't ask) hehehe

 
At 4:27 PM, March 07, 2006, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Ok I won't ask but I am curious hehehe

What kind of underpants do you think Undie wears?? boxers with cute lil hearts all over them or pink bunnies?

Let's see how many different answers we can get on what is on Undies boxers.

We luv ya Underoo!!

 
At 9:40 AM, March 09, 2006, Blogger Lori said...

I say boxer briefs.

 
At 5:03 AM, March 10, 2006, Blogger Skvid said...

I learnt that when I am forced to leave the lovely land of blogging, I miss it more than... something cool that I miss really quite a lot!

And now I've come back all ready to be refreshed by some lovely undr-ness, and I've learnt that you've gone away too! Argh!!!

 
At 9:19 AM, March 10, 2006, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Oh Undr I miss ya soo!
How many more days?
I have shed a river full of tears!
I check every day is Undr back?
NOOOOOO!

waaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaa!
why why why???

ok all better now haahaa!

miss ya Undrooo be happy when your back!
Oh yeah when you get home and find your house painted pale fuschia I have an alibi. I was visiting Terri. heehee
mucho luvo Lindy-Lin huggiez and smooches.

Terri you are still going to back me up with my where abouts right???

 
At 3:29 PM, March 10, 2006, Blogger Shari said...

sniff...(nosewipe)...sniff

I learned that in my mother's eyes I am still a teenager.

 
At 2:20 AM, March 11, 2006, Blogger Stellastoria said...

Dammit! Why can I never match up my hiatuses with my friends'? Or is it hiati? Wait... is that where you're going in the Caribbean? aaahahaha.

I remember Alf cuz I still to this day use the phrase "I kill me!" all the time.

I learned that I will never make an adequate stalker because my attention span is too short. Not for lack of wanting to, mind you.

Have fun!

 
At 10:40 AM, March 11, 2006, Blogger Terri said...

Um yep, me 'n Beads were, um, visiting
:-)

I bet Undr has stars & stripes on his boxers, if we're still playing the guessing game?

Undr come baaaaack!

 
At 3:04 PM, March 11, 2006, Blogger gunngirl said...

Sheesh, you're still gone? You better bring us back something! (especially me)

I'm going to keep up the tradition of WHWLTW, and say that I learned that when I get obsessed about something, it really takes over my life. hee. As in Buffy, Angel and Apolo. Wait, I think I already knew that.

Okay, so I didn't learn anything new. Except I miss you!

 
At 12:50 PM, March 12, 2006, Blogger Shannon said...

I think Undie is a boxers man.. Whattt?? Why are you all looking at me like that? Are we off that subject already??

*Walking away now*

Undie hurry up will ya!! I don't know how long I can control this crowd =)

 
At 12:00 AM, March 13, 2006, Blogger Tina said...

Simply put...I need Undies :p

 
At 9:53 AM, March 13, 2006, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

I learnt this past week always use sunscreen..ouch!!

Terri LOL stars and stripes!!

We miss ya Undr!

 
At 4:52 PM, March 14, 2006, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Tuesday March 14!! Around 3:50 in the afternoon!! Day 1,576 since Undr has been gone. Well it feels like that. Miss ya Undr.
smoooches and huggiezz mucho luvo Lindy-Lin

 
At 5:47 PM, March 15, 2006, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

Helloooo!! I can't help it the day is just not complete unless I leave ya a comment. smoooochessssss!!

 
At 6:07 PM, March 17, 2006, Blogger cherish said...

Happy St. Patricks Day Undr!!

Missing you!

 
At 3:43 PM, March 18, 2006, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

WHWLTW!
I learnt this week that wait what did I learn this week?? thinking thinking thinking thinking thinking thinking uuummmm that if I use a certian brand of chicken the aliens will come and get me to take to the planet phosphate or something like that. oh wait was that a commercial???
I learnt 2 out of 4 of your kiddos gone makes a quiet house all week.
I learnt that I have go pick up kiddo no.2 from Pensacola tomorrow.
I learnt that I am going thru some serious Undr withdraws!!
huggiezzzzzzz and smoooches
mucho luvo Lindy-Lin :)

 

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