Monday, May 01, 2006


Dear Undies:

Once again my boss at the boiled peanut stand has me busier than Pamela Anderson's plastic surgeon. I truly apologize for my tardiness. Anywho, buckle your seat belts and strap on your Stawberry Shortcake Helmet, it's time for WHWLTWAIMLW? For those of you who didn't know you had to wear a helmet, WHWLTWWALW stands for What Have We Learned This Week,Well Actually I Mean Last Week?

Here are the Instructions:

1. I tell you what I learned.

2. You tell me what you learned

3. and then shake it like it's nobody's business! (Not optional.)

Here we go:

This week I learned...

1. I have lost a total of 15 pounds in a month and a half. Which puts me at 756 pounds. I may actually be able to see my genitals any day now. Just kidding, I really don't want to see my genitals. Ok maybe a pun intended.

2. Australians are finally cracking down on a growing problem, an epidemic if you will. The australian police is going to get tough on eating and driving. Which is cool as long as they don't stop backhair removal and driving. Cuz that would hurt my weekends.

3. That I would make millions introducing my new weight loss excercise program. As a matter of fact here is a snippet of my infomercial.


"Are you tired of trying to lose weight with all those boring excercise programs? I know I am. Of course, that was until I found out about Undr's Butt Clenching Workout!"

Announcer Guy:

"That's right. Undr's Butt Clenching workout is fun and easy to do. All you do is clench your butt at least 4000 times a day and you will lose weight faster than a heroine and meth addict combined. Not too mention a have a derriere that could repel bullets.

So if you want buttcheeks that can crack walnuts and a body to boot, Try Undr's Butt Clenching Workout!"

Announcer Guy: "The first 5 Million callers will receive Undr's Butt Clenching Chafing Cream and a great Mix tape with all your butt clenching hits." Order yours TODAY! (Not available in Puerto Rico, that is until the lawsuit gets resolved.)


3. I don't know how long I can keep this up.

That is what I done learned this week, how about you. Let me know if not make it up!



PS Love ya, mean it!


At 1:02 AM, May 02, 2006, Blogger ramblin' girl said...


- stubbornness is good when applied in the context of not wanting to be sick.

- life is funny. really, utterly, hilarious.

At 9:10 AM, May 02, 2006, Blogger beadinggalinMS said...

I learnt that your 10 yr. old can be very loud in a bra section of a store, just to aggravate his sister.

I learnt bubbles you purchased for your son's wedding is fun to play with. ssshh don't tell him. :)

smooches to ya Undroo miss ya when you are M.I.A.

At 12:01 PM, May 02, 2006, Blogger boo said...

i learnt that my little niece can tell a whole lift full of people that my fart was stinkeroo when it wasn't me who farted *shakes booty rigorously*

At 12:52 PM, May 02, 2006, Blogger Liz said...

What I want to, what I need to know is what the songs are on "Butt Clenching Hits." Please, tell me or my life can't continue!

At 12:54 PM, May 02, 2006, Blogger Liz said...

I learnt, um I mean learned, that putting your hand in the Long Island Sound will not cause diseases.

I learned that it can be fun looking for rocks with a science teacher - i done leart a lot about those rocks there.

I learned that doing nothing can be very tiring.

I think that's all I done learnt.

At 2:06 PM, May 02, 2006, Blogger dewey said...

I learned that you can get past anything with a good friend of the opposite sex, even turning down his request to be more than friends.

I learned that if you plan accordingly (fruit for breakfast, salad for lunch), you CAN enjoy good times, including dinners, out with friends and still lose weight.

I learned that in the second month, this not smoking thing gets easier. The blessed tiredness subsides (a little) and that with deep breathing and a pillow to punch, you can survive any "Need a Smoke" crisis.

At 2:15 PM, May 02, 2006, Blogger grody jo-dee said...

i learned that one should really beware of beef taquitos. not happy.

At 12:16 AM, May 03, 2006, Blogger Ben O. said...

The lawsuits have been resolved, dude. You are free to get your freak on in Puerto Rico, Baby!

Of course there won't be anyone there . . .they are all on the streets waving signs and demanding more of the so-called "American Dream".

Ben O.

At 8:50 AM, May 03, 2006, Blogger Gareth said...

Lol I see that this whole 'LEARNT' thing is catching on ;)
Today Undie's blog, tomorrow the world muahahahahaha :D

At 12:15 PM, May 03, 2006, Blogger cherish said...

I learned there is nothing better than a true friend. They are hard to find but definitely worth the search.

I learned that not being able to blog for a week will not kill me. Hurt a lot but not death.

I learned that children can do dusting and yardwork and it will not kill them even if they proclaim it will!

At 2:43 AM, May 08, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I lernt that I missed you a whole aweful lot and that I can't log back onto my own blog.....

I learnt that you don't mess with a woman in an Abaya when your trying to cut infront of her at the fruit stand and I lernt that the Middle Eastern sun will burn you in mere seconds if your not careful!

Glad your still here after all my months of being MIA!

Love ya - mean it!
~ Jenn
(Just a mom)


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